Going Native in Tenerife

What Does a Weather Alert for ‘Costeros’ in Tenerife Actually Mean?

2011-02-22T06:47:00.000-08:00

You’re about to visit somewhere like Puerto de la Cruz, Garachico or Bajamar/Punta de Hidalgo and happen to stumble across weather reports talking about yellow and orange weather alerts for wild or rough seas in the north of Tenerife.

The excitement that had built up thinking about escaping Blighty for somewhere much, much warmer drains away and you kick yourself for choosing the north of Tenerife instead of the south.

If that's the case don’t be too disheartened, I’m going to share a bit of information that even some people who live on Tenerife don’t know. Weather alerts for costeros, as they’re called by the Spanish Meteorological Office, doesn’t mean bad weather in the way you may think; often it doesn’t even mean wild seas as some believe.

On days when we have alerts for costeros, the weather on land can be sunny and warm and even the sea can be relatively calm…except where it meets the shore that is.

Most of the time the alert only involves huge Atlantic rollers that create waves of anything up to 8 metres in height. One of these even has a name – El Bravo - and word of its pending arrival attracts surfers from all over Europe to Punta Brava where the monster wave seems to always attack.

Alerts are common at this time of year and the sea can give Tenerife’s coast, especially in the north, a right old pounding. But, unless you were planning on spending most of your time in the water, the chances are that these types of weather alerts won’t impact on your holiday.

For sunbathers, it does mean keeping one eye out for a rogue wave…and not laying out your towel too close to the shoreline unless grabbing your belongings and making a dash for it with the sea on your tail is your idea of fun.
Lifeguards are excellent at spotting a big one from way off and will warn sunbathers if they think a wave is going to come further up the beach than is usual.

In the north of Tenerife we tend to view these huge waves as something to be enjoyed…from a distance (unless you’re a surfer). Watching this incredible force of nature is mesmerising and there can be a temptation to get as close as possible to where they break to get that ‘killer’ shot. And I use the term ‘killer’ very deliberately. Every time we have these alerts hordes of people ignore the police tape on the sea wall to get that little bit closer and every year people are swept off the wall.

Employ common sense and a healthy respect for the sea and you’ll find that being in Tenerife when there’s an alert for costeros doesn’t ruin your holiday.

Quite the opposite in fact; as well as warm weather you’ll get to see some spectacular shows courtesy of Mother Nature as a bonus.

Should You Speak Spanish in Tenerife?

2011-02-03T02:23:00.000-08:00

Do you need to be able speak some Spanish when visiting Tenerife? Not if you’re staying in a resort you don’t. Outside of the resorts is a very different story but that's another blog in itself.
The real question is should you attempt to speak Spanish when visiting Tenerife? My view is that the answer to that should be a resounding YES.

Answering people in any country in their own language, even if it’s only thanks, please, good morning etc isn’t only respectful, it usually means that you’ll get treated differently and suddenly that grumpy faced waiter becomes all smiley and charming…most of the time.

But we British can be wary of attempting it. Sometimes it’s because we’re a wee bit scared, sometimes it’s because we’re a bit embarrassed, sometimes we think we just sound funny and sometimes we’re worried about making mistakes and being thought of as stupid, especially if we’re in the company of someone who can actually speak a bit of Spanish.

There was a couple of instances in the last week which brought the last point home to me and made me think back to our first months on Tenerife.

Andy and I studied Spanish at night school at the Cervantes Centre in Manchester for a year before moving to Tenerife. The reality of trying to communicate for real in situ compared to in a classroom, even with a native Spanish speaker teacher, proved daunting. Our confidence, not helped by the fact that the words being spoken to us didn’t sound like the words spoken by our tutors, plummeted.

We found that we were at our worst when our friend Jo from La Gomera visited. Living on La Gomera, Jo has a good grasp of Canarian Spanish and when we visited restaurants and bars even here in the resort town of Puerto de la Cruz, we sort of clammed up and let her do all the talking as though we were afraid that we’d look foolish when we got it wrong.

Nowadays, whilst nowhere near as competent in Spanish as either of us would like to be, we’re less worried about making mistakes. We’re consciously incompetent in Spanish, but most of the time can ‘get it over the net’ and mostly understand when it’s returned…as long as it’s the words aren’t whizzing towards us. ‘Más despacio, por favor’ is a commonly used phrase.

Recently we’ve noticed the ‘Jo’ syndrome in reverse. On La Palma with two well travelled friends we realised that when it came to ordering, our friends sort of whispered what they wanted to us and left us to tell the waiter. These are confident, smart people who have travelled the world and managed to get by without a problem everywhere, but because we could speak some Spanish they deferred to us.

When we realised this we encouraged them to try ordering themselves. Unfortunately at the time we were in a busy workers' café at breakfast. As Linda ordered a ‘zumo naransha pekeena’ (zumo naranja pequeña - small orange juice) the waiter looked at her bemused; when she giggled at this, the bemusement turned to a glower. It wasn’t the most confidence inspiring reaction so might have been a bit counter productive, but usually on Tenerife people don’t react like that.

Jump forward to last weekend at the San Abad fiesta in La Matanza. We took our friend Bob up into the hills to witness this gathering of animals, farmers and caballeros. Bob visits Tenerife every winter and when it comes to Spanish he’s not afraid of getting it wrong. He will try to communicate with anyone and is more often than not rewarded with a smile. He’s a prime example of someone who has picked up a lot of Spanish words and isn’t afraid to try them out; subsequently people respond accordingly.

However the hills of La Matanza are way off the beaten track. If there were more than 5 non Canarios in the thousands of people at the fiesta I’d be surprised. Mostly it was just farmers and when it was Bob’s turn to squeeze in amongst the cowboy hat wearing and slightly merry locals at the makeshift guachinche, Bob thrust a five spot in my direction. Andy and I laughed and said ‘get out of here; you can speak enough Spanish to order.’
So Bob ordered some wine and then we ordered some food and another small carafe of wine. When we finished the barman placed a complimentary carafe of wine in front of us with a smile and when we finished that one he brought another. I’ve no doubt that it was because not only were we extranjeros who’d turned out on a dull and dreary day to see his fiesta, but also that all three of us had spoken to him in his own language.

And the moral of all this is: Try using a few Spanish words and you never know what the result will be. At the very least you will have a different experience of Tenerife from those who don’t.

JM

Looking for an Authentic Canarian Resort on Tenerife

2011-01-25T08:55:00.000-08:00

A regular question that pops up from would-be visitors to Tenerife is a variation of ‘I’m looking for an authentic Canarian (Spanish) town to stay in. Where should I choose?’

The first time we heard this question we answered it we thought it meant that the person asking wanted a really authentic Canarian town and so came back with Garachico if they wanted to stay on the coast and La Orotava if they were happy to stay inland a bit.
In the end they opted for Costa del Silencio - not a place I’d have ever included in an answer about authentic Canarian resorts except maybe to say not to go there.

That was one of our first lessons in learning that it was important to understand what people actually meant when they said they wanted ‘authentic’.
It’s quite amazing the number of people who indicate they want somewhere with a Spanish feel and then opt for Golf del Sur or Los Gigantes. When they say authentic they often mean somewhere smaller and quieter than Playa de las Américas with a few traditional eateries, but also with bars and restaurants that wouldn’t feel too alien. Send them to Tacoronte or Güímar and an email of thanks for recommending truly authentic towns would probably not be forthcoming.

We now tend to be able to spot the people who really want the Orotava’s and Garachico’s – they are more likely to be very specific about what they’re after and, a bit of a generalisation here, are a bit better at researching online and send their questions to us directly.

TripAdvisor is an excellent tool for advice about the main resorts, but anyone really looking for ‘authentic’ Tenerife is unlikely to use it as a first stop. Nine times out of ten you can bet that anyone asking the question there is looking for Costa del Silencio, Golf del Sur or Los Gigantes.

But if you really are looking for a coastal resort (if you head into the hills anywhere on Tenerife you’ll soon find yourself faced with authentic) that has a Canarian atmosphere then here are some suggestions.

Alcalá – only a hop, skip and a jump away from the south western trio of Los Gigantes, Puerto Santiago and Playa de la Arena but more Canarian by far. Plenty of choice of varied restaurants for its size; life focuses around a small plaza and sunshine is a plenty. The luxury hotel Gran Meliá Palacio de Isora on the edge of town has brought in more visitors, but for now it’s Canarian through and through.

Playa San Juan – Next door to Alcalá and a bit bigger in size. Not quite as charming but with a much better beach. A decent amount of bars and restaurants, but there’s a lack of accommodation – probably why it still feels Canarian. A lot more British voices in town than there was even a few years ago.

Garachico – Truly authentic and historic town on the north west coast and one of the Canary Islands’ most charming. Plenty of restaurants and the hotels are small boutique affairs in wonderful old buildings. Busy with visitors during the day and quiet at night.

El Médano – Wind and Kite surfers’ favourite haunt on the south east coast that gets oodles of sun and a fair breeze (hence the surfers). Bohemian and laid back with a strong Canarian atmosphere. Loads of good restaurants and a few imaginative bars.

Las Galletas – Joins on with Costa del Silencio but miles away in character. A Canarian town and small fishing community with a pleasant marina which has a few restaurants overlooking the sea and lots more on the seafront promenade. Complete shortage of hotels though.

Las Caletillas – Part of Candelaria on the east coast and a place favoured by Spanish holidaymakers. The old part of Candelaria where the Basilica stands is much more charming than the newer Las Caletillas area where the hotels are located. Both sides of town have a good selection of restaurants and some of the biggest fiestas on Tenerife take place in Candelaria.

Los Cristianos – some people might scoff at this suggestion. Los Cristianos may be the choice for a lot of mature European visitors but its soul is distinctly Canarian. Wander through the harbour in the day and head to San Telmo late at night and you’ll see what I mean.

Puerto de la Cruz – The best mix of Canarian town/ tourist resort on Tenerife (okay I’m biased…but it is) as it’s a working town as well as a tourist resort. As much, if not more so, a playground for Canarios from the Orotava Valley and around as it is visitors. Stick to the old town, join in the fiestas of which there are plenty and don’t party until after midnight and you’ll see a very different place from that experienced by visitors who frequent the handful of bars aimed at British visitors.

Choose any of the above and you’ll be assured of a taste of Canarian life – but remember the strength of the flavour may vary slightly depending on how much you bite into it.

Going Native in Tenerife over the Festive Season

2011-01-11T02:53:00.000-08:00

There’s always a lot going on over the Christmas period on Tenerife and never enough time to fit everything in. This year we were guilty of not even sending Christmas cards to some of our best friends, partly because after a number of friends and family chose the same week to escape Britain for Tenerife’s warmer climes we just ran out of time (a bit of a lame excuse I know).
Apart from the fact we were failures as friends, we enjoyed a varied and interesting festive period on Tenerife.

The Week Before Christmas
Christmas week saw two firsts for me; wild boar steaks at the Sabor Español restaurant in the Barceló Santiago Hotel in Puerto Santiago followed by getting locked in a toilet in Route 66. The first I enjoyed a lot, the latter not at all.

Sarah and Terry Lee from LiveShareTravel were exploring the island and discovering oodles of material for their website. They’d been staying at the Pearly Grey in Callao Salvaje and we met up at Garachico, halfway (sort of) between Callao and Puerto de la Cruz.
Our first two choices for lunch, El Lagar de Julio and Aristides were inexplicably closed with, in true Tenerife fashion, no explanation whatsoever – bad luck guys, you could have had Andy waxing lyrical about you on a popular UK travel site. Mind you, after seeing herself on the video taken at the Los Pinos restaurant Andy vowed she’s never going to wax lyrical on camera ever again.
After lunch we persuaded Sarah and Terry to have a quick look at the belén in the former San Francisco convent to play my favourite belén game ‘find the caganer’. But being a traditional Canarian scene and not a Middle Eastern one, the caganer was missing.

A couple of days later with my mum, sister and her boyfriend Graeme we had much better luck at the exhibition of belénes in Puerto de la Cruz where we found not one, not two but three caganers. As a bonus one of them was doing something I’d never seen caganers do before (in the interests of decency that will just have to remain a mystery).

Christmas on Tenerife
On Christmas Eve we explored the banana plantations around Garachico in Isla Baja. Due to work commitments we haven’t been able to hoof it around Tenerife’s countryside on foot as much as we like, so it was good for soul, body and mind to wander off the beaten track again. The pit stop at the ‘unusual’ bar at the end of the walk resulted in me not only getting to drink from a bottle of cerveza but also to sip from the bloggers’ Holy Grail as well as the subsequent blog was featured on the Wordpress front page for a few days.

This year we didn’t manage to make it to Santa Cruz and La Laguna to see the Christmas decorations, but we did head up the hill to La Orotava where we were rewarded a magical display and a street exhibition of evocative metal sculptures by talented artist, Julio Nieto. Arriving at dusk was perfect as the fading light created the optimum conditions for viewing these dramatic works of art.

Boxing Day and it was another walk – from El Portillo to La Fortaleza in the Teide National Park. The highlight for me was climbing over a volcanic spur to be faced with La Fortaleza on one side, Mount Teide on the other and a broad sandy plain inbetween – it’s one of Tenerife’s many special vistas.

A couple of days later it was my birthday and an excuse to try out the sexy new Cofradía de Pescadores restaurant in Puerto de la Cruz. The seafood was fresh, plentiful and scrumptious and I vowed to return to try out the razorfish.

New Year and Tres Reyes on Tenerife
New Year’s Eve saw the annual grape wielding trip to Puerto harbour for a night of cava quaffing and dodgy salsa dancing (only by me I hasten to add). We had a relatively early one and ended up walking home via a pitch black dirt track through the bananas at 4.30am. It was a bit spooky, but the cava helped steady the nerves if not the feet.

We don’t normally go to the Tres Reyes parades on the 5th January. I could tell you that’s because it’s for the kiddiewinkles, but the truth is by that point we just want to chill. But this year we dragged ourselves to La Orotava… and it was a blast. I only took one hit to the forehead, courtesy of Baltasar who was launching sweets through the air as though he was trying for some sort of long distance throwing sweeties record.

The festive period ended with the first Tenerife Magazine meet up of 2011 which included social media expert and all round star Arantxa Ros. We chose the Cofradía de Pescadores again so that Tenerife Magazine’s southern representatives, John Beckley and Colin Kirby, could experience some northern hospitality and tuna steaks that were nearly as big as the plates they almost covered.

Of course this being Tenerife, this business meeting wasn’t like the often dry affairs we experienced in the UK. This was more sun, seafood, cervezas and smiles as we bitched about the bad, glowed about the good and generally discussed plans for Tenerife Magazine's world domination in 2011.

That's our festive season ‘Going Native’ style - good fun and keeps us up to date with what's happening across Tenerife.

JM

Why it's important to Research Where to Stay on Tenerife?

2010-12-06T02:37:00.000-08:00

In these days of information overload on the internet, and when so much printed word about Tenerife has been written that it’s probably responsible for the destruction of a significant chunk of the Brazilian rain forest, it wouldn't be unreasonable to wonder why would anyone need a guide to a destination that’s been visited by millions upon millions of people?

The opening paragraph in Going Native in Tenerife says it all – ‘Tenerife is an island that attracts over 6 million visitors a year, many of whom believe they know it like the back of their hands and few of whom know it at all.’

The longer we live here, the more we stand by that statement. What amazes me, for all the information that exists in print and online, is the number of people who seem to make real clangers when choosing a resort on Tenerife.

I’ve been following an enjoyable and thought provoking blog written by someone who recently visited Tenerife. He stayed for a short part of his visit in Golf del Sur (below); a place that is, ironically, being increasingly referred to by its more Spanish sounding municipality title, San Miguel de Abona. This is how he described it:
‘The soulless expanse of cheap bars, restaurants, empty units and peripheral expatriate services was as depressing as the couples wandering slowly through it with miniature dogs, cheap wine and cheddar cheese slices.’

It made me laugh - a lot. Let’s be honest, Golf del Sur isn’t a resort for anyone seeking to immerse themselves in Tenerife’s culture. Head up the hill to the real San Miguel de Abona for that (see pic below) or even take a jaunt along the coast to el Médano. To be fair, that particular blogger did actually spend most of his time on Tenerife in a banana plantation near Garachico; a town as different from GDS as chalk is from...well, cheddar cheese slices.

However, what can be quite common is for people to book a holiday in a purpose built resort on Tenerife, spend all of their time there and then complain there’s nothing Spanish (or Canarian) about the resort, or for that matter Tenerife.
There’s nothing wrong with choosing a purpose built resort if that’s what rings someone's bell, but for those who complain afterwards about it lacking character and not having a Canarian feel, it just demonstrates that they hadn’t done their research properly.

On the other hand, who’s to say it wasn’t exactly what they were looking for and that they didn’t have a great time, but how can they admit that to friends who treat the very mention of Playa de las Américas or one of the other purpose built areas the same way they would dog dirt on the shoe? This excludes Costa Adeje which, in some part thanks to a shrewd marketing strategy, is considered more socially acceptable.

There’s also another approach people use to make resorts considered, rightly or wrongly, a bit naff more acceptable and that’s being creative with names. I’ve already mentioned the Golf del Sur transformation to San Miguel de Abona and this week I checked out a series of photos on Flickr that were titled Los Cristianos by the photographer even though they were all clearly of Las Américas - god forbid that someone admits to being there. The best example of being creative about being on Tenerife I've seen recently was a bio of someone living on the island which stated they resided in Africa. Not an out and out porky, but a hell of a spin.

The point of all this is that for all the information online about Tenerife, much of it is still misinformation - deliberate or otherwise. Some travel sites selling holidays can be ultra-creative with the truth, so that quaint little fishing village they describe is actually a series of hotels and apartments built twenty years ago and centred around a man-made postage stamp sized beach. TripAdvisor can be a good resource within limits, but it is terribly, terribly subjective. One person's 'best restaurant on Tenerife' and 'top bar on the island' can turn out to be a restaurant selling cheap as chips...err chips and a bar frequented by three people and a dog, all of them sozzled, saddle-bag coloured ex-pats (the dog included).

It’s vitally important to research thoroughly and to use good sources to avoid disappointment when picking a resort on Tenerife. For all the 'helpful' information about Tenerife online, it's still not difficult to spot what good sources are. God, as they say, is in the detail.

When we were commissioned to write Going Native we were told to be completely honest about Tenerife's towns and resorts. So we were and some places don't fare particularly well, but there shouldn't be any surprises in store for anyone armed with a copy. Similarly, when commissioned to write a series of online 'insider' guides for the travel website Tenerife.co.uk the brief was more or less 'tell it how it is'. Subsequently Tenerife.co.uk has a warts and all description of all of Tenerife's resorts and also many of its less touristy towns; something you are unlikely to find on any other travel website selling holidays .

The information is out there, so there’s no real reason for someone seeking Spanish culture on Tenerife to discover on arrival at their resort that they are assaulted by signs proclaiming ‘All day British artery clogger served here’, ‘€1 a gallon of watery beer’ or ‘Z-list celebrity who desperately needs public exposure Big Brother screened tonite’…unless secretly that’s what they really want.

JM

Menus in Restaurants on Tenerife, Go Spanish

2010-11-16T01:48:00.000-08:00

I’m sure it seems terribly pretentious when we’re in restaurants on Tenerife with visiting friends when the waiter asks if we want the English or Spanish menu and we always, always ask for the Spanish menu.

But there are a number of reasons why if you can understand Spanish even a bit you should follow suit.

Okay for a start there’s the obvious; it’s a good way for picking up basic Spanish words and cooking terms for anyone who wants to learn the lingo. But there are a few other, more practical reasons.

Most menus have been translated into English by someone who doesn't speak it as a first language and that can lead to some, let’s say, misunderstandings.

Two classics we came across in a restaurant on La Gomera were these - tuna done with an iron and roast paw of the house. Unfortunately neither dish was as it sounded which was a shame; one was grilled tuna (plancha is grill, but also an iron), the other roast pork.

Apart from smile-raising mistranslations, getting it wrong can lead to culinary disappointment. One time in Regulo in Puerto de la Cruz, Andy got excited by the inclusion of fish pie on the menu. She had visions of the sort of pie we cook up at home courtesy of Rick Stein’s cookbook with three types of fish, prawns and mussels in a lip-smacking sauce topped with creamed potatoes. She was gutted when a cold, fish terrine was placed in front of her.

Just last week we were in a restaurant with my sister and her boyfriend and she fancied the sea bass on the menu. Sea bass is a fish which regularly falls foul of mistranslations. In this case a quick check of the Spanish menu revealed it was actually sama, a local fish. Often it’s the dorada fish that is described as sea bass, but it’s a wee liar; dorada is bream. What we know as sea bass is actually called lubina here.

However apart from risking disappointment, the best reason for always asking for the Spanish menu is that you might be missing out if you don’t.

Recently we ate at La Casona in Puerto, again with my sis and her boyfriend. The Spanish menu included a ‘combinado’ section which was mysteriously absent from the English menu. If you’ve never come across combinado menus, you’re missing out on a Spanish style of food presentation that would have Gordon Ramsey turning the air blue.

A combinado is as it sounds a combination. So you get bizarre couplings like a fillet of cherne (grouper) served with a pork chop separated by a mountain of chips, or chicken with steak and maybe a fried egg, or frankfurter thrown in for good measure.

Combinados might have the serious chefs holding up a crucifix to ward them off, but they’re quite good fun and perfect for anyone having an attack of indecision, especially if they like their food quite simply prepared…plus they are incredibly cheap, usually well under €10.

So asking for menus in Spanish on Tenerife might sound pretentious, but at least you can be sure of what’s going to be on your plate when it arrives.

JM

On the Trail of Tapas in Puerto de la Cruz

2010-11-09T05:21:00.000-08:00

Tenerife is tapas trail mad at the moment. There are at least four tapas routes taking place as I type. There’s one in Guia de Isora, a cheese themed one in La Laguna, an aphrodisiac themed tapas route along the north coast and one in Puerto de la Cruz.

I knew Puerto held a tapas route at this time of year, but with typical Tenerife advance notice, this year’s wasn’t confirmed until the middle of last week. It started on the 5th November, perfectly timed to coincide with a visit from my sister and her boyfriend, Graeme.

The hardest thing about tapas routes is choosing where to start. With 37 restaurants and cafes in Puerto participating in this one, choosing a start point was always going to be a bit of a mare, especially when you added other conditions – a) there had to be two choices and b) under no conditions could any of the tapas dishes have tentacles. As an avid eater of anything with tentacles, the second condition took some of my first choices out of the picture.

Restaurant number seven on the tapas list I had printed off met all the criteria plus it was in one of our favourite ‘secret’ restaurants in Puerto, Casa Pache.
Last year they blew us away with their space dust ravioli, this year’s tapas were a bit more conventional; albóndigas con papa negra (meatballs with black potato) and the more imaginative timbale de batata con bonito (tuna in a sweet potato mould topped by a light red pepper sauce). As always the food was delish and whilst we tucked in, we formulated our tapas route.

Some places were ruled out because the only opened in the evening, others because they bizarrely stopped serving at 2pm. This being Tenerife, following a tapas route isn’t as easy as it sounds. Our second choice, Pandorga turned out to be closed for vacations begging the question why were they on it? A sub was quickly found. Bar Cafeteria Central dished up a couple of decent sized montaditos (slices of crispy bread with spicy meat and tuna toppings). It wasn’t fancy (typical of the type of food they serve), but it was tasty enough. Third stop proved a bit confusing. The map showed Heladería Paraíso, but the name above the restaurant and on the menus said Pinguino; what I’ve always know it by.

“Is this Heladería Paraíso?” I asked the waiter.
“Si,” came the reply.
“But the name says Pinguino?”
“Si, it’s the same place,” he smiled.
“The paradise penguin?” Andy suggested.
“Exacto,” he laughed.

Then to confuse matters further, when we ordered two tapas paraíso and two tapas Charco (don’t ask me what they were, this was our surprise option). But he informed us they didn’t have them, all they had was chicken.

This is another aspect of some tapas routes. You don’t always get what is on the list; it sort of adds to the adventure of the whole thing. As it turned out their shredded chicken in sauce tapas was rather imaginatively presented and tasted as good as it looked.

For our final stop – although not stuffed, the beer with each tapas (€2.50 for tapas an drink) was proving conducive to making us want to practice that most Spanish of traditions, the siesta – we chose local police haunt Maga.

I liked the parrot fish mousse a lot, but the second offering turned out to be the tastiest tapas we’d tried all day. Fillet of pork with apple and sweet potato. They might not sound like obvious companions, but their flavours complemented each other brilliantly. It was a satisfactory end to our tapas trail. Or should I say temporary end. The tapas route continues until the 28th November and having been denied my tentacle hit, there are quite a few tapas that I still want to try out including the stuffed cuttlefish at El Establo and the octopus and potatoes at Lo Que Me Gusta…

JM

What Does Going Native in Tenerife Actually Mean?

2010-10-26T02:59:00.000-07:00

Going Native in Tenerife might mean different things to different people but for us it means having the type of experiences that the Canarios enjoy throughout the year.

However, it doesn't have to mean going to a remote location where you're the only tourist. The real Tenerife (not purpose built for tourism) is found everywhere, even in some of the main resorts if you look for it.

When we published our first guidebook about Tenerife, Island Drives, someone commented to me 'Tenerife doesn't need another guidebook'. Obviously we had a different point of view otherwise we wouldn't have bothered and here's why.

My copy of the Rough Guide completely omitted huge chunks of the north coast between Puerto de la Cruz and La Laguna – the route that every traveller pre mass tourism journeyed. A walking guidebook for Tenerife I bought incredibly didn't mention the Anaga Mountains at all. Nobody seemed to be writing about what being at a fiesta was really like so I didn't know about what actually happened on the night of San Juan, or at the bathing of the goats in Puerto harbour, and I certainly didn't know that thousands upon thousands of people and animals descended on towns I'd never heard off to celebrate obscure saints. Nobody mentioned that there were loads of free music festivals and the best of original live music and most buzzing nocturnal scenes weren't necessarily in the places frequented by tourists. Whilst travel articles in British newspapers seemed to be all about the new Tenerife being luxury hotels on the south west coast, the old Tenerife was going about its business more or less ignored and subsequently it was generally only the Canarios who were going to all the really interesting events - it still is. Whenever the 'old' Tenerife was mentioned in the same papers it would more often than not be Garachico or, if the author was being really adventurous, Roque de las Bodegas; both of which which were (are) sometimes described as though Atlantis had just been discovered...despite being favourite coach excursion stops.

The point is that everybody was writing about almost exactly the same thing and although Spanish speakers knew about all of the juiciest stuff, most of what really made Tenerife tick was still a secret to us English speakers.

Writing for Living Tenerife for four years involved researching small towns, sitting in libraries and talking to people in town halls and cultural centres etc. The experience opened our eyes to all the things that rarely if ever made it onto the printed page in English and so our guidebooks and numerous blogs were born.

There's far too much happening on Tenerife to cover all the interesting events in one guidebook. However, Going Native in Tenerife includes what we consider to be the best of what we think it means to go native here, along with tips and advice to help people visiting Tenerife for a week, fortnight, month or longer experience the Tenerife that the Canarios know and love.

Is it Quiet on Tenerife?

2010-10-14T07:21:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago we were in a bar in Puerto de la Cruz watching Manchester United sneak a win against Valencia in the Champion's League.
The bar wasn't busy and the Canarian barman commented, “I thought that we'd have a lot more people in to watch Manchester United.”
We just smiled and said nothing because ever year at this time he makes exactly the same comment.

Puerto de la Cruz is busy throughout the summer with Spanish mainlanders who abandon the resort as soon as their children return to school in September. The British winter visitors don't really hit full swing until later in October. And in the period in between there is always a bit of a lull in bars aimed at a British clientèle rather than local residents (actually there's a lull for the whole of the summer in bars aimed at the Brits in Puerto). Subsequently, the bar isn't full for football games at this time of year (exact same thing happens after Easter). This pattern, (not picked up on by everyone it seems) plays out year after year as sure as night follows day. Last year, however, it was different in as much as even during high British season it never really got as busy in the bar as it had been in previous years – the crisis bit deep.

But have times changed and corners been turned on Tenerife?

Recently we were in Playa de las Américas covering amongst a number of things, nightlife in the resort. The area around the Safari centre was relatively busy, but the strip of cabaret bars at Parque de la Paz were packed to capacity with people. At some bars it was standing room only whilst others we couldn't even get into. It was great to see and suggested that in tourist terms, things were looking healthy around that area anyway. Similarly when we moved on to the 'Patch', two of the three bars we went to there were also packed. There were bars that were quiet, but to be cruelly honest, they looked dire.

During the weekend we met with the manager of the Mare Nostrum Resort and the manager of the Arona Gran Hotel in Los Cristianos. One had 96% occupancy, the other 85% occupancy. Facts that paint a promising picture.

We also receive official tourism statistics from the Tenerife government and these show that visitors to Tenerife are up around 8% more than last year; mainly in the south of Tenerife. The north (i.e. Puerto de la Cruz) is still experiencing a tourism crisis for a number of reasons. But unless you frequent the few bars aimed at the Brits, you don't notice it in the same way you would at a purpose built resort. There are even less tourists in La Laguna and Santa Cruz, but you wouldn't class either as being quiet. Places on Tenerife that have a large resident Canarian population are never quiet. In fact if you're the sort of independent traveller that likes to immerse yourself in local culture that isn't touristy, the diminishing British tourists might even be a plus point.

Overall though from a tourism point of view, the signs are all there that the future is looking brighter than it has for a couple of years. However, that doesn't mean that everything in the garden is ever going to be rosy again.

But back to the question is it quiet on Tenerife? If you're going to a small purpose built resort with a couple of AI hotels, then yes. If you're going to a northern resort and looking for the Brit scene then yes again..and if you're going to a rural out-of-the-way location then hell yes. On the other hand if you're going to the cabaret capital of Tenerife in the south, or sticking to fiestas and where the locals go in the north then quiet is definitely not a word that will spring to mind.

And if it does, you've cocked up your research...and it serves you right for not buying Going Native in Tenerife.

JM

Is Playa de las Américas just Blackpool in the Sun?

2010-09-22T08:37:00.000-07:00

Playa de las Américas – people either love it or loathe it. It is often described as Blackpool in the sun; a place where chavs and chavettes go to try to drink themselves to death, picking up the occasional STD in the process whilst gorging on all-day breakfasts served with a pint of beer and a packet of Bennies.

That's the way the media had portrayed it and that's the image I had of it. Even after I moved here I treated the place like Will Smith's New York in I Am Legend; a place to be visited with extreme caution during the day and totally avoided at night.

When it came to having bias against Playa de las Américas, I was at the head of the queue. I looked down from my elevated position in the authentic north at what to me amounted to a theme park; a Sodom and Gomorrah that had nothing much in common with Tenerife, but which infected the whole island with its tacky reputation. I despised it for that crime.

In my mind it was made up of no more than cheap tourist shops, Brit restaurants that served meals straight from Birds Eye's packets and run-down bars selling watered down beer whose mock Tudor décor (if it was as sophisticated as that) went out of fashion quarter of a century ago in the UK.

But then I started writing about the island and that meant having to visit places that I wouldn't normally have chosen to spend time in; places like Playa de las Américas. Because like many, many, many people my vision of Playa de las Américas had been formed not by experience, but by what I'd read and heard about it.

The reality was far removed from the image I expected – I found sophisticated restaurants, smart avenues, style bars, tastefully luxurious hotels and well dressed visitors representing a whole host of European nations. Even its beaches surprised me – Las Vistas, considered by some (not me) to be the best beach on Tenerife, Camisón (a better beach in my view) and the surf dude scene at Playa Honda. Much of its sea front promenade was lined with modern sculptures, ideal for a romantic sunset stroll.
What I didn't encounter was the Britain in the sun I'd expected. Parts of it were over the top in a kitsch sort of way, but I don't mind that – I'd much rather have outrageous Las Vegas style pizazz than unmemorable mediocrity.

Maybe there are some people out there who know (or knew) Playa de las Américas who are guffawing in disbelief at this point, but let me share a couple of little things. One of the first times I visited was with a friend from the UK who had stayed in the resort quite a few years previously...and hated it. He didn't recognise it.

Recently we recommended Playa de las Américas to two friends who are unashamed travel snobs. A few years ago I would have cut off my right arm with a butter knife before doing something like that. But I know PDLA now and realise that it isn't quite the demon it is made out to be.

The other thing that has changed is that much of what was Playa de las Américas is no longer Playa de las Américas. The young upstart Costa Adeje has reclaimed areas that people once knew as PDLA. So today's PDLA definitely isn't the same. The modern PDLA only stretches from Los Cristianos to Veronica's.

Okay I've mentioned the name, so before anyone says 'AHA', I'll come clean. The old style PDLA still exists in parts and people still flock to it, but the tide has turned. It isn't what defines the resort anymore, or it shouldn't be. Costa Adeje is considered by many as the more upmarket resort. I don't necessarily agree. There are sophisticated areas and not so sophisticated (the diplomatic term) in both resorts. In fact a couple of weeks ago I saw more 'euro a pint' offers in parts of Costa Adeje than I did in PDLA.
All of this might make me sound as though I'm now PDLA's biggest fan. I'm not. It's not the sort of place I would ever choose for a holiday, but that's because I prefer places with local culture and the sort of atmosphere that comes only from being in existence for centuries. However, I do recognise that PDLA delivers exactly what it says on the packet and it does it well and also feel that it deserves a fair hearing.

What PDLA isn't, is Blackpool in the sun (unless Blackpool has completely re-invented itself as well). But if you give a dog a bad name it sticks...even if that dog has had a shampoo, cut its hair and swapped its mongrel coat for some posh designer fur.

JM

The Foreign Fields of Tenerife

2010-09-01T10:26:00.000-07:00

The most foreign feeling country I’ve ever visited was…France. Until I visited France it had been Sri Lanka. The first time we visited Sri Lanka was a serious culture shock, there was virtually nothing that was familiar to me; from the crowds clinging to the wire fencing at the airport, road blocks manned by kids with Kalashnikovs (it was during the civil war), shanty towns amidst palm groves and children in rags whose smiles were as white as the surf, but there was the occasional Coca-Cola billboard…and the people did speak English.

France on the other hand was a shock. It was the first time I’d been anywhere where the people couldn’t, or wouldn’t speak English. Thank god for Andy’s grasp of the language and the difference that a couple of bottles of French country wine can make in helping you understand the lingo.

Tenerife on the other hand is a place which is as foreign as the La Tasca restaurant on Deansgate in Manchester…if you believed some.

On Sunday at a popular fiesta, the Corazones de Tejina (hearts of Tejina) in the north of Tenerife, the only other English speaking voices I heard were that of Tenerife blogger, Islandmomma and her friend Colleen.

Despite the thousands of British ex-pat residents and tens of thousands of British visitors who descend for their holidays on Tenerife every month, this isn’t something that’s uncommon. Recently at the Riscos del Fuego in Garachico we heard another English speaking voice and expressed surprise. That might seem an odd thing to say, but after years of visiting fiestas all over the island, some of which attract thousands upon thousands of people, it still comes as a surprise when we see or hear many other Brits at one (apart from those close to resort areas in the north and south).

By far the majority of people at most fiestas are Spanish speakers – most fiestas have their roots in a very strong communal bond and are held by the community for the community.
Why these fiestas don’t attract more British, I don’t know. They’re fun, visually enthralling and the people are always welcoming. In the past (before the internet changed the world) promoting them on Tenerife wasn’t a strong point and people have said to me in the past that they just weren’t aware of all the things that were going on. This might still be the case, especially if people don’t use the internet.
But the Corazones de Tejina had pride of place on billboards all over the tourist resorts and there were no more Brits there than on any other year I’ve been.

Fiestas aren’t everyone’s cup of tea and neither is local culture and that’s cool. We all have different likes and dislikes, but it still amazes me that on an island whose reputation has been one of being overdeveloped for tourism, that the reality is that so much of its towns and the events that take place in them are still invisible to most visitors.

The upside of this is that anyone looking for a holiday experience in a land that feels deliciously foreign with a culture that is quite fascinating and with traditions that border on the bizarre then…don’t laugh…Tenerife is your place.

And if you do happen to scoff at that suggestion, next time you’re in the area let me know and I’ll take you to a town away from the resorts and plonk you in the middle of a fiesta - if you’re still scoffing at that point, I promise to pay for the carafe of vino del país.

JM

Summer Carnaval in Playa de las Américas

2010-08-25T10:02:00.000-07:00

I’ve got to admit to being a tad sceptical when I heard that a summer carnaval was going to be held in Playa de las Américas. I mean you can’t just hold a ‘carnaval’; it doesn’t work like that. Apart from the months of prep that goes into the main carnavals around the island, the furiously beating heart and soul of the carnaval spirit comes from what’s happening in the streets. Carnaval is all about holding a last wild hedonistic bash before giving up the good stuff in life for Lent…and you can’t simply replicate that with a click of the fingers and some sticky tape.

The second point which had me cringing at the idea of a summer carnaval was that I’d witnessed a ‘mock’ carnaval of sorts not so long ago when the British Guild of Travel Writers visited Tenerife. It was tacky and embarrassing and, from the comments I heard, had the opposite effect on the BGTW than that which the organisers intended.

As we were in the area we decided to head to the milla de oro (golden mile) in Playa de las Américas to have a look. The parade was due to begin at 7.30pm, but there were still cars streaming down the ‘golden mile’ at that point – so a late start at least was authentic enough.

Furthermore, the scaled down madness outside the Hotel Villa Cortes was exactly like the scenes before carnaval parades; girls from comparsa groups struggled to squeeze into tiny costumes; there were surreal elements like a tyrannosaurus rex glaring at passers-by; Fidel Castro, Charlie Chaplin, Michael Jackson and Popeye posed for photos and the animals from the movie Madagascar ran around aimlessly before being herded by a girl in skins with a bone through her hair whilst a DJ in a bar opposite blasted out the obligatory Latino music.

Eventually the parade got underway and the drums, dancing, bright costumes and bizarre characters brought the tourists from the bars to line the streets in impressive numbers.

I might have been snotty about the whole thing beforehand but although it’s not the real thing, at least it was a taster of an authentic carnaval parade. Credit to all those involved, they did it in the right spirit and the result was thoroughly enjoyable. Many visitors to the south are never going to make the trip to Santa Cruz or even Puerto de la Cruz, to see a full blown version; so at least the ‘summer carnaval’ will have given them some idea of the flamboyance and fun of carnaval in Tenerife.

However, if in a few days time I read somewhere about someone saying that, after watching the parade, they’ve ‘done’ carnaval’, you’ll be able to hear my head banging against the wall on the other side of the island.

Where is the Real Tenerife?

2010-08-19T06:50:00.000-07:00

That title could also have read ‘What is the real Tenerife?’ On our blogs and websites we talk a lot about the ‘Real Tenerife’, but what do we actually mean when we use that term?

We use it to differentiate between the parts of Tenerife that were built purely for tourism and the parts where people live and work and where customs and traditions stretch back centuries. This isn’t meant to suggest that one is better than the other, but it’s vitally important to let people know that they are very different worlds and have qualities that appeal to the varying likes and dislikes of people looking at Tenerife as a holiday destination .

Before we considered moving to Tenerife we had a very clear idea of what we thought Tenerife was like. This perception had been painted partly by the newspapers and partly by British TV, but some of it had also come from our own experiences passing through certain areas on the way to catch the ferry to La Gomera. Some of it had also been derived from researching English language sites on Tenerife which tended to feature topics mainly based around life and holidays in one area of Tenerife and that area was the one that most people knew and visited – the area around the main southern resorts.

It came as a surprise to us to discover that this area that most English speaking people talked about was in reality very small geographically and that most of Tenerife was quite different. I’m not talking about a north south divide here, I’m talking about anywhere at all that lies 5 minutes outside of the heart of Playa de las Américas or Costa Adeje.

If you read the Spanish press, this is obvious. The locations which feature in the main topics of conversation for many British people hardly warrant a mention in local Spanish language papers.

This was a revelation to us and once our eyes were opened to the truth, we moved to Tenerife and began to try to spread the word about this ‘real Tenerife’ that only a few people seemed to talk about.

To us the real Tenerife is a place where the traffic is stopped for goats; you wonder how people get any work done because of the amount of fiestas; if you don’t speak Spanish you’ll never be able to sort anything out; menus offer cabra, conejo and cherne; any music other than traditional Canarian or Latino is considered ‘alternative’; mas o menos is a mantra and advice from anyone other than a Canario is received in the same manner as a poisoned chalice would be. Most of the places on Tenerife we spend time in are like this.

However, someone on a Tenerife Forum said something recently that was very valid. They made a comment that to 90% of British visitors, the Tenerife of the resorts was the ‘real Tenerife’. The person might have plucked the figure from thin air, but it was an interesting and well made point that probably wasn’t too far off the mark.

You could argue that the real Tenerife is the Tenerife that each and every individual on the island experiences. To 90% of British visitors (or whatever the real figure is) the real Tenerife continues to be the tourist resorts they love and return to regularly. On the other hand, for the majority of Canarios and the Brits who venture outside of the resorts, the real Tenerife is something completely different.

If you’re one of the 90% you know exactly what you’re getting and that’s great. However, if you want to become one of the 10% who experience a different ‘real Tenerife’, venture away from the resorts and you’re in for a surprise and a treat.

It’s one of the unexpected delights of Tenerife. Mass tourism has thrived on this island for nearly half a century…and yet most of Tenerife is still a secret waiting to be discovered.

What Is There To Do In Tenerife?

2010-07-21T05:09:00.000-07:00

I keep a regular check on local forums and travel review sites like Tripadvisor to see what sort of things that people coming to Tenerife to visit or even stay are asking and saying about Tenerife.

Every so often I read comments from people who have ‘seen all there is to see on Tenerife’ (i.e. they’ve taken a coach excursion to Mount Teide, Masca, Garachico and La Orotava) or are bored because all there is the sun and the sea.

When I read these I invariably end up with a bruised chin as a result of it coming into contact with the floor.

We’ve been exploring towns, villages, hamlets, beaches, forests, ravines, caves and any old nook and cranny for nearly seven years. We’ve notched up fiestas, concerts, shows and open air raves. We’ve eaten in god knows how many restaurants across Tenerife from super cool establishments to guachinches in the middle of allotments and drank whatever the barman put in front of us in so many bars they’ve become a blur. We’ve tasted wine from the best vineyards as well as from tiny plots. I’m not trying to prove any credentials here just merely trying to state that, partly because of the work we do and partly because we’ve always sought out new experiences, we spend a lot of time trying to discover as much as we can about this island…and I don’t feel that I’ve seen or done all there is to enjoy on Tenerife.

This month alone I haven’t seen or done anything like the things I would have wanted to. There’s still a third of the month to go and whilst I’ve watched some of the Ladies Open Golf tournament; eaten sardines to the strains of a maquinaria band; been blasted by water pistols at a fiesta and scorched by a heatwave at the Erjos pools; shed a tear as Ave Maria was sung to the Virgen del Carmen; felt too old at an open air rave; been wowed by African singer Angélique Kidjo and battled dimunitive Canarian abuelas at the start of the summer sales; cheered on Tenerife’s Pedro and Spain during the World Cup and made peach chutney with the meagre crop from our peach tree, there are far too many other things that I haven’t done.

I didn’t get to the Indian festival in Las Américas, folklore concerts and windsurfing championship in El Médano, traditions fair in Chirche, salsa concert or the Smiths night in Santa Cruz, the car rally in Adeje, the motocross championship in San Miguel, the beach fashion show in Los Cristianos, Simply Red in Costa Adeje or any of the concerts, fiestas and shenanigans that take place in the northern municipalities that you have to know about them to know about them if that makes sense.

However, before July ends I’ve still got time to enjoy the agricultural fiesta In San José, watch fireballs rolling down the hills in Garachico, see if Nelson can win the battle of Santa Cruz this time, take in the Moscow Ballet, go to the Lan party, try some sea urchins and maybe watch a couple of movies at the open air cinemas that are erected for summer.

What is there to do in Tenerife? If you go native and do what the locals do there are more things than you could ever possibly imagine.

The Best Week to Visit Tenerife, Rock, Blues, Bonfires & Quaint Fiestas

2010-06-29T07:28:00.000-07:00

If someone wanting to experience the cream of what Tenerife has to offer asked me when would be the best time for holidays on Tenerife, I wouldn't have to think for even a second before answering.

Unfortunately if you're reading this and planning a visit to Tenerife in the near future, my answer is going to be really annoying as it's the week that has just passed.

The period around the official start of summer is always full of activities as well as two of the best festivals on Tenerife's fiesta calender...and you can guarantee that the weather is going to be hot.

The week started with the European Day of Music in Puerto de la Cruz when seven bands welcomed in the summer beside the town's picturesque harbour. I've said it over and over again; if you visit a place like Puerto, you aren't going to see the best of it in a pub which caters for the British – apart from maybe The Majestic, which is a scream. On a Saturday night it's always worth checking out what's going around Plaza Charco and the harbour as that's where the real action takes place.

Anyone who does feel the need to spend their Saturday nights in a bar could always opt for the Queen Bee or the Frigata beside the harbour and get the best of both worlds.

This time of year is also a great time for walking on Tenerife. Temperatures are high, but not oppressively so and we always try to fit in a jaunt in the countryside in between the hectic nocturnal activities. This year we explored a part of the north coast near us and found fishermen's shacks beside beautiful clear rock pools.

The highlight of the week is the midsummer celebrations on the night of San Juan. These take place all over the island and are a real insight into Tenerife's true character. Even in the main resorts in the south like Playa Los Cristianos and Las Vistas, Canarian families head to the beach to make wishes and bathe in the sea after midnight for good health and fertility. It seems crazy, but I've sort of become hooked on the tradition and even though we spent this year exploring celebrations along the north coast, we had our swimming cossies under our clothes. There was no way I was going to risk the wrath of the gods, so wherever we were after midnight I was determined that my body would be bathed with the magic waters. As it turned out we ended up back at the best San Juan party on the island at Playa Jardín in Puerto de la Cruz. A rock band kept the beach bouncing as we picked our way through the crowds to the shoreline where we waited for a break in the waves so that we wouldn't be dragged to San Borondón (mythical Canarian island which turns up on San Juan)as we doused our skin in the waters.

Another magical thing in Tenerife is the time, it disappears at frightening speed and one second it's midnight, the next it's 2am. Not late for a fiesta, but it is when you want to watch el baño de las cabras (bathing of the goats) just over six hours later. Don't be put off by any misinformed suggestions that this is a cruel tradition, it isn't. It might be noisy and messy, but it isn't cruel.

One thing I learned at this year's annual goats' day out is to keep your eyes on the asses at all times. Not a bad life mantra come to think of it. As I was getting up close and personal with a few billies, a tethered mule decided to eat my trousers and clamped its jaws around my left knee. El baño de las cabras - cruel to goats, no; cruel to photographers, yes.

The week was rounded off by Santa Blues, a small blues festival in the capital, Santa Cruz. It's spread across three nights and lasts from around 9.30 till half past midnight. I love all types of music, but there's something about good blues which just reaches deep inside my soul. Unfortunately it doesn't quite reach my feet and my natural rhythm is akin to Steve Martin's at the start of The Jerk. This year's festival was particularly good with ace performances from Larry McCray and especially Kenny Neal as well as some decent support bands.

Santa Blues is quite a special end to a magical week on Tenerife and here's an even more amazing thing about the week. Everything I've mentioned is completely free.

Going Native in Tenerife – It Reaches the Parts Other Guide Books Don't

Tenerife North V Tenerife South – But What about the East and the West?

2010-06-10T07:53:00.000-07:00

A comment on the previous blog mentioned the east and the west of Tenerife and asked what about Los Gigantes?

That blog was about visitors’ general perceptions of Tenerife – which sometimes are condensed into simplified questions about north and south and as a result don’t paint an accurate picture of the island as a whole.

It would be possible to write reams and reams about why to talk about the island in terms of points of the compass can be misleading when taken out of context. There are far more complex issues involved that go beyond the differences in climate; although climate does usually play a role, but not in a 'is it nice enough to sunbathe' sort of way.

So what about the east and the west?

First the west. There is a world of difference between the western towns on the northern side of the Teno Mountain range and those on the southern.

In many ways the resorts on the south west coast are a microcosm of the Los Cristianos, Las Américas and Costa Adeje area.
Just as Los Cristianos existed as a tiny fishing community before tourism, so did Puerto Santiago. Los Gigantes and Playa de la Arena, like Las Américas and Costa Adeje, are the invention of developers and didn’t exist before a hotel was built. Think about this, Playa de la Arena in English simply means ‘sandy beach’.

It doesn’t mean that they’re not nice places to visit or live; they enjoy the best of Tenerife’s sunshine. However, in days gone by noblemen, wealthy merchants and artists chose the towns on the other side of the mountain range to set up home. It’s on the north western coast in places like Buenavista del Norte, Los Silos and Garachico that travellers can still discover a Tenerife that wasn’t created to satisfy the demands of the tourist industry.

In many ways the other end of the island, the east, is even more interesting. The capital Santa Cruz and former capital, La Laguna are located there (well…north east) and that metropolitan area is home to the greatest concentration of residents on the island. But you wouldn’t know that from much of what you read about Tenerife in tourist brochures or even in the British media.

La Laguna was an ecclesiastical centre and a seat of learning. Its old quarter is a World Heritage Site and is full of beautifully preserved colonial architecture. But that doesn’t mean it’s simply a haven for people who like old buildings and museums. It is home to the university and bars and restaurants exude the youthfulness and vibrancy that you find in university towns. Santa Cruz, the political and business hub of the island, is no different – there’s a reason why most major music concerts take place in the capital. Look in the Spanish press at live music venues and you’ll hardly see a mention of tourist resorts, instead listings will be mainly in these two places…even though Las Américas is the place dubbed the nightlife centre of Tenerife.

In nearly every way, Santa Cruz and La Laguna are the true centres of Tenerife’s world…but not when it comes to tourism. In tourism terms they just don’t hold the same draw as the resorts and that can make them almost invisible to many visitors.

Here’s a little fact which really illustrates how La Laguna’s role in tourism has changed with the rise of mass tourism. In 1864, there were at least six hotels in La Laguna. Nowadays, with all the millions of visitors that descend annually on these shores, there are a grand total of two.

It’s interesting that what attracted the artists, explorers and adventurers holds limited interest for the majority of the mass tourist market. On the bright side, it means that those who still possess a spirit of exploration and adventure have much to discover away from the sun, sand and sangria scene.

Tenerife North v Tenerife South – How Can You Tell if You’re a Northerner or a Southerner?

2010-06-03T09:59:00.000-07:00

A question that is regularly asked by first time visitors to the island is ‘what’s the difference between the north and south of Tenerife?’

It’s important to understand what people are normally actually asking by this. What they really mean is ‘what’s the difference between the southern resorts and the northern ones?’ As there is only one main northern resort, that really means the southern resorts and Puerto de la Cruz.

I make this distinction because there is a massive difference between the main southern resorts (Los Cristianos, Costa Adeje & Playa de las Américas) and the towns in the hills behind them.

The most popular answer is the weather and whilst there’s no denying that there are differences, it isn’t the only one, or necessarily the most important. You can sunbathe in both the north and south of Tenerife at anytime of the year. There’s even a place in the north called Puntillo del Sol because it’s rare that the sun doesn’t shine on it. But the weather is generally better in the south (from a sunbathing rather than an agricultural point of view).

The big difference is in what’s on offer and the character of the opposing sides of the island. Las Américas/Costa Adeje offers beaches, water sports, international dining, very diverse entertainment, lively clubbing and all the mod cons of a resort developed to meet the needs of visitors ranging from those looking for cheep ‘n’ cheerful fun in the sun to those looking for more sophisticated dining and entertainment. Only having existed since the second half of the 20th century the area doesn’t have a sense of history or traditional architecture.

Puerto de la Cruz has been around for centuries and therefore does have a sense of history and traditional old buildings, but not the levels of grand colonial architecture found in places like La Orotava or La Laguna. It was a town, or more accurately a port, first and foremost and because of that its streets exude a completely different atmosphere from those of Costa Adeje. Like the southern resorts, there are plenty of restaurants to choose from, only in Puerto most are Spanish or Canarian; however, nightlife is a different kettle of fish. Many people think that it’s low key – not exactly an accurate assumption. The difference is that the nightlife is aimed at the local population, so a lot of live music bars don’t get going until late and aren’t frequented by most visitors. Much of the nocturnal fun is provided at open air fiestas. There are beaches (black sand), but no real water sports.

Whether you’d prefer south or north depends on personal preferences and what you want from a holiday. I have plenty of friends who like both. There are ex-pats who live in the south of the island who enjoy spending weekends in the north and there are many Canarios who head south for weekends. But some people are definitely only suited to one or the other. The question is how do you know for sure which is for you whether for a holiday or for longer?

I have a litmus test; however, you have to visit Puerto de la Cruz to be able to apply it.

Stand for a few moments at Puerto’s harbour at 10am on any morning. If you do and think ‘okay, so what?’ the chances are you’ll enjoy the main southern resorts more. And if you’re more suited to the north…you’ll know it at that very moment.

It's Like Tenerife Before Tourism

2010-05-24T10:24:00.000-07:00

I'm a nosey bugger, I admit it; it's probably something to do with being a writer. I listen in to conversations all the time. I don't mean that if I'm sitting at the next table in a restaurant, I'll be leaning across trying to catch what you're saying, but if something is said which sets off the 'interesting' alarm, my ears lock on to the conversation.

One recurring conversation I hear on a semi-regular basis concerns Tenerife and the affect tourism has had on the island.

Recently in Masca I heard two British couples discussing the charming hamlet. One of them had been before and commented that it had lost some of its charm since it became a popular tourist attraction.

Not having been to the place before it became a tourist attraction, I wouldn't know about that. But Masca still holds bucket loads of charm as far as I'm concerned. The money that the tourists bring help it to remain an immaculate thriving little hamlet.

Last week I visited another very picturesque hamlet in a valley, but the difference with this one was that there were no tourists and most of the houses in the village were abandoned. Its downfall was partly to do with the rise of tourism on the coast way below.

I think it's an interesting comparison. Two beautiful rural locations; one arguably saved by tourism, the other possibly destroyed by it.

Another thing I heard recently was from someone who had just been to La Gomera.

“It's what Tenerife was like before tourism,” was how the person described it.

I've heard and read this a number of times and have got to confess that I'm not sure what it really means. Think about the biggest tourist developments in the south of Tenerife. What was there before tourism?

I've got a great little guidebook for Tenerife from 1969 which lists accommodation around the island. On the south coast there are only a handful of places in Los Cristianos, Las Galletas and El Médano and that was it. No Las Américas or Costa Adeje. They didn't exist; they're not towns which have been turned into resorts. There was nothing there and there definitely wasn't green countryside and quaint little farms. So not like La Gomera at all.

Tourism has clearly had an enormous impact on Tenerife, but it has on all the islands. There are valleys in La Gomera which are almost deserted because families have left to work in the tourist industry. I wonder if families from La Gomera visit Masca, think of the abandoned hamlets they hail from and comment, 'it's just like La Gomera before tourism.'
If anyone really believes that La Gomera is like Tenerife was before tourism, continue into the next valley beyond Masca, or take a tour of the Anaga Mountains, veering off down roads signposted to places like Afur or Batán. The truth is there are plenty of parts of Tenerife that are still exactly like Tenerife before tourism.

So here's a little test - which of the photos above are La Gomera and which are Tenerife?

Nightlife in Tenerife – Going Down the Local

2010-05-10T07:54:00.000-07:00

I don't know about other people in other parts of Tenerife, but we don't really have a bar that we call our 'local' in Puerto de la Cruz.

There is a bar that we watch football in, The Beehive, and we've made some good friends in there over the years, but we don't go there to socialise at night.

One of the main reasons for this is that when we go out at night, it's usually to a fiesta or to see a band. In Puerto de la Cruz, and a lot of the north of Tenerife, much of the nightlife takes place outdoors, especially around Plaza del Charco and the harbour.

A couple of weeks ago it was a rock fiesta, this weekend it was a Brazilian DJ festival at the harbour; part of the Tensamba festival taking place across the north of Tenerife. When you've got events like this on offer, sitting in a bar doesn't really compete...especially as these events usually come with beer and combinado kiosks attached.

On Saturday we spent most of the evening sitting by the old customs house of Casa de la Aduana whilst DJs from São Paulo brought a distinctly Brazilian beat to the town, multi-coloured strobe lights danced across the harbour waters and the beautiful people came out to samba on the sidewalk.

We did drag ourselves away from the scene to eat at one point, but not too far from the action. We were completely undecided about what to eat until a waiter wafted a wagon-wheel sized pizza under our noses as we passed the perennially popular Tasquita beside the harbour.

May is a quiet month as far as tourists are concerned in Tenerife, but there was only one unoccupied table outside the Tasquita – and that was only because it was the only one which didn't have a view of Real Madrid strolling to victory on the bar's external wide-screen TV. Not being Real fans, we weren't bothered about that, so grabbed it before it was snatched up.

The Tasquita is one of those fantastic people watching spots and as we tucked into our wagon-wheel pizzas we commented on the Saturday night outfits on parade around the plaza beside us; teenage girls dressed to kill on heels as long as their legs, lads with Derek Zoolander haircuts and gawky expressions, cool dudes with dreadlocks and hippy chicks in black smocks and shocking pink tights. Around the perimeter of the bar's pavement tables up to twenty people lingered to cheer and groan at the football match on the telly whilst electric bossanova beats drifted up from the harbour.

It might be one of our quiet months, but the town's heart beat out strongly with an addictive rhythm.

We might go to the Beehive to watch football; head to The Majestic to see the wonderful Bitter & Twisted show (incontinence pants essential); down an icy cool cerveza or two on the even cooler terrace (in style not temperature) at Limbo or clink mojito glasses at hot & sultry Azucar, but if you were to ask me what our local was, I'd guess I'd have to say it was the same as most Portuenses (people from Puerto) – and that would be Plaza Charco and the harbour.

That is simply where it's all happening.

Music on Tenerife – When Salsa Becomes Boring

2010-04-21T07:32:00.000-07:00

The first time I heard a live band on Tenerife, it sent a shiver of excitement through my body. I can't remember where it was or when, but it involved a group of lads dancing with pumped up energy on a stage as they belted out a sound which had a mix of of hot sultry nights, cool mojitos and dark eyed and olive thighed women shaking their booties for all they were worth. It felt sensually exotic.

Six and a bit years further down the line, the same sound feels about as exotic as having fish and chips in Whitby. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy fish and chips in Whitby and I still enjoy Latino/salsa music...but I also like to hear something different every now and again.

Like most people, the Canarios in general are creatures of habit. They know what they like and they stick to it like superglue. I've blogged before about Carnaval having three types of music – live salsa bands for the older revellers; DJs playing electro salsa for the younger revellers and for the teenagers, a nice pop salsa beat.

Every traditional fiesta I go to features live salsa music...except when it's traditional Canarian (of which there are about three original songs with an endless combination of variations).

I'm human and therefore prone to animal instincts and so am also a creature of habit. But the same thing over and over, whether it's food, music or anything for that matter, can become tedious.

Thankfully on Tenerife there are also loads of other places to get a music hit especially during summer months. There are classical concerts, rock, jazz, blues and proper old school trance. I've seen Robert Cray, Echo and the Bunnymen, Irish up and coming rockers The Deans and the wonderful Orishas (okay, they're Cuban Hip Hop with a Latino beat, but they have quite a unique sound) as well as a whole load of lesser known names. So I do okay for getting to listen to a wide range of live music, but here's the bit that is very revealing about the Canarian culture.

A couple of weeks ago we went to a concert that was part of the FMAC festival. This is a festival dedicated to alternative music. The alternative music in this case was jazz funk and indie rock. There you go, it's official - indie rock isn't part of the mainstream music scene here, it's classed as alternative music.

The other thing that speaks volumes is this. Thousands upon thousands of people always turn out for the traditional fiestas and the streets are filled with people of all ages salsa-ing the nights away.
For all the bands (with the exception of Orishas) I mentioned before and the alternative music festival the other week, the turn out was closer to a couple of hundred. The majority of local people simply want salsa, salsa and then some more salsa.

In truth it's admirable. It shows a culture which is rock solid and sticking to the things it likes, completely unaffected by half a century of mass tourism. Salsa might have lost some of its spice for me, but as long as there are plenty of 'alternative' festivals to maintain the musical balance, I'm a happy bunny – I can have the best of both worlds.

However, next time you're up north at a trad fiesta and there's some guy in the crowd shouting 'Give us some Kings of Leon,' you'll know who it is.

Huge Travel Discounts in the Canary Islands

2010-04-04T05:03:00.000-07:00

(Photo - the twin peaks of La Palma above Santiago Del Teide)

There’s something quite fascinating for me in being part of an archipelago; it’s like being a part of a family – a solid, geographic family. And I think it gives a place a very special feel and character.
When you spend your holidays on Tenerife, Lanzarote, Fuerteventura or Gran Canaria, it’s highly likely that it never even occurs to you that you’re one island in seven; why should it? The same is true for most of us ex-pat residents of the islands. In some respects, it’s a bit like living anywhere else; you tend only to be aware of your own immediate surroundings- the ‘my back yard’ syndrome.

Look out over the south and west coasts and you can’t fail to see Tenerife’s nearest neighbour, La Gomera. Look harder on a clear day and you’ll see the twin peaks of La Palma lying to La Gomera’s northwest and the tip of El Hierro lying off her south coast. Off the north east coast of Tenerife the mass of Gran Canaria is clearly visible on many days.

But to really get a feel for being a part of the Canarian Archipelago, drive up to Teide National Park on a clear day (September and October are the best months for crystal clear visibility) or take the cable car to just below the peak and experience the awesome beauty of all four of those islands, and sometimes five if Lanzarote sneaks onto the eastern horizon, lying in their crystalline azure waters; brothers and sisters to Tenerife.
It’s said that if you climb to the peak of Mount Teide for sunrise, on a clear morning you can see all six satellite islands. Unfortunately when Jack and I did it, we could only see five and it’s not like you can just ‘pop back again’ the next day to see if you can get all six this time. Still, it’s definitely on my ‘things I still want to see’ list.

So, with all those other islands lying tantalisingly in such close proximity, each completely diverse from the others, why not take the opportunity to do a little family visiting?

Having recently had reason to do a bit of island hopping for both business and pleasure purposes, it strikes me that some regular visitors to Tenerife may not realise that they’re entitled to reduced fares on all the inter-islands transport; ferries and aircraft.
And by way of illustration of just how valuable that discount is, here are some price comparisons (all prices are from websites for one day return journey on 5th April 2010):

Tenerife to La Gomera:   ‘Tourist’ rate       ‘Resident’s Rate’
Fred Olsen Express       €60.92              €30.44
Naviera Armas                 €46.31              €23.17
Binter Canarias Airlines      €137.70                €70.70

How do I qualify for the discount?
Anyone who lives in the Canaries, either full time or for some part of the year is entitled to resident’s discount.
You’ll need a copy of your NIE (Número de Identificación de Extranjeros) which is the number you applied for when you made any kind of large purchase (a car, apartment etc. or set up standing orders for rent, utilities etc) and your Certificate of Residence of the EU.

If you haven’t already got your Certificate of Residence, it’s well worth taking the time and trouble (the usual assorted bureaucratic hurdles) to get it, as it entitles you to all sorts of other discounts like entrance to parks and facilities; the cable car; excursions etc.

With your discount under your belt – there’s really no excuse not to go out and revel in the fact that you’re part of an archipelago – a gloriously beautiful one.

Fat Bottomed Girls you make the Rockin’ World go Round – Shopping on Tenerife

2010-03-15T08:01:00.000-07:00

Anyone planning on spending any amount of time on Tenerife should take a good long look at the Canarian girls’ rear ends. I’m sure for the men out there, I don’t really have to say anything else or explain why, but girls I’m deadly serious. A study of local derrieres is quite illuminating if you’re planning on picking up the latest fashions on Tenerife.

Canarian women come in all shapes and sizes like anywhere else, but there is a certain Latino shape which is common and which consists of curvaceous derrieres (Think J-LO in the movie Out of Sight), waists that seem positively anorexic and generous breasts.

Clothes sizes in shops like Stradivarius, Pull and Bear and even the more mature Punta Roma reflect this. So if you’re a typically shaped British woman, you might find that tops strain at the waist and have room for two more at the bust.

Some local fashion shops even have mannequins with the most ridiculously pert bottoms.

It also means that what you know of as a size 12 feels more like a 10 on Tenerife, so don’t get depressed if you have to move up to a size 14 – it’s not a result of over eating on holiday…well not only as a result of that.

However, the other thing to be aware of is that the fashion industry is pulling a bit of a fast one in the UK in an attempt at pulling the wool over your eyes…without it squeezing the breath out of you because it’s too tight.

UK sizes have also crept up in the last decade, so what was classed as extra large 10 years ago is now only large. It’s sad to say, but I’ve still got T-shirts and shirts bought in the UK about 6/7 years ago. Then they were large, but now when my mum sends me ‘large’ T-shirts, they’re nearly double the size of those from a few years ago and three times the size of the ones I buy on Tenerife.

This is clearly a bit of spin and a redefining of average sizes (which is quite disturbing in itself) meant to make people feel better because they don’t have to buy extra, extra large etc. But it does mean that when you hit the fashion shops on Tenerife and try on a pair of slim fitting jeans in your size, the chances are they haven’t a cat’s chance in hell of making it past your thighs.

It’s not necessarily a sign for a crash diet. Just buy two sizes bigger and cut out the label before any of your friend’s in the UK who don’t know about these cultural differences, and wouldn’t believe you anyway, sees it.

The Carnaval in Tenerife is Over…Thank Goodness

2010-02-22T07:56:00.000-08:00

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those people who moan and groan about noise, drunkenness, rowdy revellers and all sorts every time carnaval is mentioned. I love carnaval, but by the end of carnaval week I’m shattered.

When we first moved to Puerto de la Cruz a bank teller told us carnaval was for the young. At the time I thought she was an old sourpuss; however, I’m starting to come around to her point of view. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak and late night parties combined with standing for hours waiting for and watching parades takes its toll much more than it used to.

Carnaval didn’t start well, the new mayor (really an old mayor rehashed) decided in his infinite wisdom that Puerto wasn’t going to have an opening parade, so carnaval in Puerto de la Cruz got off to a damp squib of a start. However, we did get to eat doorstopper sized catalanas at the best food stall in the universe.

By Monday night, usually one of the best party nights, carnaval fever had picked up and Andy and I ‘costumed up’ and headed into town for an overdose of partying and people watching. If you want to get a real insight into the Tinerfeño character then you should experience a carnaval street party. Booze is consumed like there’s no tomorrow, yet in six years of attending these all night parties I’ve never seen a hint of trouble – only seas of slightly vacant, smiling faces.

An orange weather alert for high winds and rain put a bit of a dampener on the Burial of the Sardine which was postponed in both Santa Cruz and Puerto, but by Friday night, the worst of the weather had passed and the highlight of Puerto’s carnaval, the high heels drag marathon, was able to take place without threat of the contestants' skirts being blown over their heads – not that they would have been worried by that – flashing your drawers, or better (or worse depending on your position), fake genitals is almost compulsory. This year there were over 300 entries into the race and watching them all get introduced by the compere was a marathon in itself. My favourite outfit was a Shiva who had beer cans in some of her many arms.

By the time of the closing parade on Saturday, I was flagging. However, being one of the most photogenic events of the year it’s too good an opportunity to get some real stand out photos. The big decision is always where to position myself. I normally never get it completely right – the perfect quiet spot becomes flooded with people as soon as the parade starts; last year it was too sunny, creating dark, dark shadows – but this year I got lucky. It wasn’t full sunshine, but it was bright and I found a spot which remained remarkably people free allowing me to crouch, stand, kneel, stand on my head etc to get the angle I wanted.

By the end of Saturday night I was both relieved and saddened that carnaval was over for another year. Of course to say it’s over is a bit misleading as it spreads out to other towns now, but although still fun they’re not quite in the same league as Santa Cruz and Puerto’s.

Anyone arriving in town this week will find a very different and subdued Puerto – that’s because everyone is exhausted. Come back in a month and we’ll all be desperate for the next fiesta.

Living in Another Culture – Living on Tenerife is Different… Honest #2

2010-02-11T10:28:00.000-08:00

A couple of days after the British Guild of Travel Writer’s dinner we met up with travel writer and TV director, John Bell in Puerto de la Cruz and took him to one of our favourite places in the town, Cha Paula, an authentic Canarian restaurant in an old mansion.

Apart from experiencing the visually surreal ‘Chorizo de Teror’, John also discovered that the Canarian accent can have as much in common with Madrid Spanish, where John has spent quite a bit of time, as Rab C Nesbitt’s English has with the Queen’s.

“The accent’s a bit different isn’t it?” John commented after the owner, an intimidating-looking, but actually very friendly, shaven head Canario with an accent as thick as palm honey, had explained to us why pimientos de padrón grown on Tenerife weren’t spicy.
His Canarian Spanish led to a discovery of a way to serve coffee that I certainly had never seen before.

As John tried to order a type of coffee he’d seen people drinking in cafes, but wasn’t sure what it was called, the owner thought for a second and then suggested something that sounded like 'cafayconwello'.

“That’s it!” declared John and then turning to us, asked. “What did he say?”
“Café con hielo,” Andy answered. “Coffee with ice.”

Sure enough, Cha Paula’s owner returned with an espresso sized cup of coffee and a huge tumbler filled with ice. Clearly the ice couldn’t fit into the cup, so John poured the coffee over the ice.

“What does it taste like?” I asked, intrigued by this unusual method of serving coffee.
“Slightly cold coffee,” was the amused and probably obvious reply.

When the owner came back to the table we asked if this was a popular way to serve coffee.

“For Canarios, no,” he shrugged, then added. “But maybe for peninsulares...sometimes.” With an expression which said, ‘the mainland Spanish are probably strange enough to try something like this’.

It was one of those delicious little moments which illustrated that everyday life in the real Tenerife can be different even if you’re familiar with the ways of mainland Spain.

Living in Another Culture – Living on Tenerife is Different… Honest #1

2010-02-10T09:49:00.000-08:00

One of the funny things about Tenerife is that its modern image has been shaped more by tourism over the last 40 years than the reality of what life on most of Tenerife is really like and has been like for 500 years.

The British Guild of Travel Writers held their annual general meeting on Tenerife recently and Andy and I attended their gala dinner where we got chatting to a number of the members.

I found that when I was asked ‘why did you move to Tenerife?’ and I answered ‘to experience living in a different culture’ (that was the pretentious answer – the lure of warm weather also figured highly) that I also felt obliged to explain that living anywhere outside of the main, purpose built resorts can be like living a million miles from the Tenerife that many had an image of in their minds.

I sat next to a charming lady at the BGTW dinner who spent 4 months of the year on the island of Zante in Greece. We swapped stories about the quirks of life in another culture – good and bad. She told me of the mayor who used the police as his personal heavies; arresting people who he didn’t like and arranging when holes in roads were repaired that the ones in front of the house of people who didn’t vote for him were left unfilled. I countered with the Tenerife mayor who posted a policeman outside of the butterfly gardens to deter visitors because of a personal dispute and another mayor who recently had three young journalists physically removed by the police from a public session of the council because they were posting news straight onto the web – clearly he’s not quite up to scratch with this new-fangled internet thingy.

Mostly though, our stories were about the positive quirks – and thank god these outweigh the ones that have you turning all Herbert Lom in The Pink Panther movies. It’s been what we call a frustrating TIT of a week (This Is Tenerife). But it was nice to share tales with someone from outside of the island who confirmed my suspicions that getting to grips with a different culture wherever you are usually involves a willingness to accept that things may not be quite as organised, or work as smoothly as you've been used to. But then that's part of the charm...most of the time.

Photographing Tenerife – The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

2010-01-21T08:56:00.000-08:00

We’ve recently been writing a series of short guides to many of Tenerife’s towns and resorts.
I’ve got an extensive library of photographs for most places on Tenerife, but the job made me realise that a couple of years had passed since I’d taken new photos of some locations.

In that period I’d been concentrating more on fiestas, events and walking locations rather than the towns and villages, so I decided it was time to bring my photo library up to date.

When we wrote the in depth location reports for Living Tenerife Magazine, part of the remit was to provide photographs which made each location look as good as possible. Sometimes this was easy – I could have sent the cat with the camera and the results would be great; sometimes it took a bit of creative thinking – a flowering oleander, or hibiscus bush could be a godsend for partly obscuring an eyesore which could ruin an otherwise attractive scene; and sometimes I’d spend ages staring and staring at places to try to spot something that looked remotely photogenic – an unusual doorknob, a bright flower in a glass on a restaurant table…anything.

Anyway, having been spoiled with the spectacle and colour of numerous fiestas and the drama of the epic countryside I’d partly forgotten that some places, like some people, don’t pose well.
I know my personal preferences are partly to blame. I like old places whose character positively oozes from the brick and plaster work so locations like La Orotava, La Laguna, Garachico, Santa Cruz and parts of Puerto de la Cruz are on the whole easy. Imaginative modern architecture is also good, so that’s another plus for Santa Cruz.

Marinas and harbours are usually good subjects, especially if there’s also a resident fishing community – Los Cristianos, Las Galletas, El Médano and to a lesser extent Puerto Colón, Playa San Juan and Los Gigantes (but that does have those stunning cliffs).

A nice beach can make up for dull characterless buildings, lack of expanses of greenery or unique individual touches – parts of Costa Adeje and Playa de las Américas; however, in the more upmarket areas of both, luxury hotels with individualistic architectural styles, trendy shopping centres and pavement cafés have added some interest.

But for me there are a couple of places on Tenerife which have me praying for photographic inspiration. Resorts where there are no beaches, the architecture is decidedly seventies, there are no plazas, quaint or otherwise and there’s an absence of creativity in the décor of the restaurants and cafés.

They are nice places to visit on holiday I’m sure; plenty of decent restaurants and loads of sunshine, but for the life of me, I can’t find anything that gives either an individual character.

And these places are…well it wouldn’t be fair to pass my photographic prejudices on to you and I actually quite like one of them despite the fact I can’t photograph it for toffee. So you’ll just have to figure it out for yourself while I try for the umpteenth time to try to take a half decent shot of the damn places.

Looking for an Atmospheric Tapas Restaurant on Tenerife

2010-01-07T05:06:00.000-08:00

Anyone who enjoys spending a leisurely lunch lingering over a taste-bud teasing selection of tapas dishes accompanied by a carafe of local vino will find that, depending where they’re staying on Tenerife, finding an atmospheric tapas bar will either be as easy as falling off a log, or as difficult as getting a flight out of a UK airport at the moment.

On my birthday I enjoy having a long tapas lunch. In Puerto de la Cruz we’re spoiled for places to have tapas. There were twenty eight bars and restaurants participating in a recent ‘ruta de la tapa’ (a council sponsored competition to find the best tapas in town). These aren’t all the places in Puerto that serve tapas, just the ones which had opted to participate. We only managed to get around six of the restaurants and the tapas in each were a delight. But what added to the experience was the ambience and surroundings which ranged from interior courtyards of colonial mansions to stylish terraces to pavement cafés overlooking charming squares. Like I said we’re spoiled in Puerto.

On my birthday I opted for a place we hadn’t been to before, Tasca El Olivo, on one of the back streets behind Plaza del Charco. It’s not the most picturesque location in town, but being situated beside a Cuban bar whose salsa music added a South American soundtrack to the scene, it was atmospheric and we whiled the afternoon away eating the most delicious tapas and people-watching.

Rewind a few weeks and we’re researching in Costa Adeje around the San Eugenio/Torviscas area. There are hundreds of places to eat and if we wanted burgers, toasties or bocadillos (filled baguettes), or even a meal in a nice restaurant we’d be fine. However, when we’re out and about working, we like to try a couple of tapas dishes in a quaint little bar/restaurant if possible. We were on a hiding to nothing.

A couple of days later we’re in a couple of other resorts carrying out more research – same result. There just wasn’t anywhere that fitted the bill and in the end on both occasions, we settled for baguettes in pleasant, but run of the mill establishments.

Admittedly it’s difficult for resorts which have only been in existence for a few decades at most to meet the ‘quaint’ requirement. If you’re in Santa Cruz, La Laguna or La Orotava, you’ve got five hundred years of history to add to the overall ambience and that’s something that’s almost impossible to replicate.

But it’s not impossible. Los Cristianos has a wonderful selection of contemporary tapas bars in the San Telmo area. El Médano has great tapas restaurants overlooking the harbour and even small places like up and coming Alcalá has a couple of inviting tapas bars around its small square. And there are plenty of others like them.
But then these three were towns or villages first and that’s where for me the difference lies.

For many years establishments in some parts of the main southern resorts have occupied the culinary middle ground, offering familiar ‘international’ menus to appeal to the masses.Recently that’s changed in the newer, more upmarket areas.

But generally speaking, if you want to try some local tapas in an ambient bar where the atmosphere complements the food on your plate, look to the towns that were already in existence before the mass tourism boom of the 70s.

A Month Going Native in Tenerife #3: From Exploding Tapas to Tsunami-Sized Waves

2009-12-21T13:16:00.000-08:00

Enjoying a lively Christmas lunch in the courtyard of a museum party was a fittingly surreal topping to the last few weeks in Tenerife.

Exploding Tapas in Puerto de la Cruz
The period had started bizarrely enough when we took my sister and her boyfriend, who were on holiday in Playa de la Arena on a tapas route around the town. Some great tapas dishes were tested; however, the one which got the best reaction wasn’t the tastiest, but the oddest. Ravioli filled with space dust in Casa Pache was quite unlike anything I’d ever tasted. No wonder they called it ravioli sorpresa.

Volcanic Eruptions on Tenerife
The 18th of November saw the centenary of the last eruption on Tenerife at Chinyero above Santiago del Teide. We went along to see how it was being celebrated and stood on the edge of the volcano as a load of suits, looking completely inappropriately dressed for trekking across a lava field, posed for photos with Ricardo Melchior, the Island’s President (who was at least dressed for the countryside). The event also coincided with the opening of Santiago del Teide’s new cultural centre set in and around the lovely old buildings of Casa El Patio. We’d first clocked the building about three years before, when its estimated opening date was already 6 months behind schedule. In Tenerife time that’s not bad. On maps of Puerto de la Cruz, the car park at the harbour has been identified as ‘futuro parque marítimo’ for about 20 years.

Chestnuts, Wine and Street Sliders
This year’s arrastre de las tables, where local lads scream down steep streets to celebrate San Andrés in Icod de los Vinos was a bit of a washout. Much more enjoyable was partaking of a poke of chestnuts and some new vino tinto around the harbour in Puerto… if you could get a seat. It’s the sort of thing that Puerto does brilliantly. The smells, tastes and sounds were a reminder that for anyone wanting to sample the real Tenerife and do the sort of things that Canarios enjoy doing, Puerto’s hard to beat.

Yellow Weather Alerts on Tenerife #1 The Rain
November is always a dodgy month on Tenerife. It’s the month that the rains can return with a vengeance after the long dry summer. We always advise people that if they’re coming to Tenerife for only a week and want some sunshine, don’t come to the north in November or February. The rains don’t normally last long, but when they come you know about them. This year’s were the worst we’d seen since we moved here and although they only lasted about 24 hours, they left chaos in their wake and destroyed part of the town beach.

Christmas on Tenerife

The Christmas lights in Puerto this year are a bit of a disappointment. They’re very nice and tasteful, but lack a bit of colour. Thank goodness then for a completely over the top psychedelic big wheel, whose frantically whizzing neon lights dominate the town’s skyline. The funfair in Puerto’s harbour is part and parcel of Christmas here, as are aisles full of turrón in the supermarket – we’re on our third packet of the season.

Snow on Mount Teide

They were a bit late in coming and they didn’t stay long, but the first snows of the year fell on Mount Teide’s slopes last week. We’re hoping that more falls during the next week so that we can say we’ve had a white Christmas on Tenerife.

Yellow Weather Alerts on Tenerife #2 The Waves
Some people panic when they hear there’s a weather alert on Tenerife, but when the alerts for big waves, it’s more of a heads up to experience nature’s show than to batten down the hatches. Last week I was hoping to see some surfers tackling ‘El Bravo’, but although the waves turned up as promised, the surfers didn’t… hey ho.

Christmas is almost upon us, so with Christmas concerts during the next week, New Year’s celebrations and the Tres Reyes parades there are a few things that we’re looking forward to before the fiesta season starts again in January.

Feliz Navidad Todos

Going Native in Tenerife – Eating Where the Locals Eat

2009-12-09T07:44:00.000-08:00

There’s a rule when it comes to recommending restaurants that is applied in nearly every travel guide book and also in countless travel articles.

It’s this: A restaurant where the locals eat must be the place to eat. As rules go, it’s not a bad one. We’ve applied it everywhere we’ve visited and usually ended up enjoying a good meal.

However, living in Tenerife and getting to know the local culture and quirks has made me view this rule slightly differently and with slightly more caution.

Firstly, as we talk about in 'Going Native in Tenerife' in more detail, Canarios generally have a conservative nature when it comes to dining. They like Canarian food which tends to be simple dishes of grilled meat and fish with papas arrugadas (literally wrinkled potatoes). Any vegetable or salad accompaniment isn’t usually the most imaginative in the world.
The mainland Spanish don’t always hold Canarian cooking in high esteem and I’ve had restaurant owners go out of their way to make it clear that their restaurant serves Basque, or Galician dishes rather than Canarian.

Canarios aren’t the best at experimenting with food from other countries apart from maybe Italian. So what that means is that when you see a restaurant filled with Canarios, you can bet your house on the fact that the menu will be traditional Canarian cooking and almost exactly the same as every other Canarian restaurant on the island. However, lots of local clients usually means that the food served will be a notch above other restaurants dishing up the same fare. La Tasquita de Min beside Puerto’s harbour is a prime example of this. Their fish is simply prepared and divine tasting (the parrot fish, vieja, is particularly good) and on Sundays it’s almost impossible to get a table as they are filled with well to do Canarios.

But whilst full tables may be a sign of the best Canarian restaurants, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they're the best restaurants full stop. In areas which are popular with a mix of nationalities, there’s a choice of dining from all over the world, but they might not be frequented by ‘locals’, or Canarian locals anyway.

And this raises another factor which applies to places where there is a high ex-pat population. And that is what people mean when they use the term ‘local’.

In an article we wrote about restaurants in Valle Gran Rey on La Gomera, we include a cheap and cheerful joint which served up everything from Canarian cooking to pizzas. When we told our friend who lives on La Gomera that we were including this restaurant she announced:

“But no locals ever eat there.”

Her statement surprised us because when we’d eaten there the other diners included a large group of workmen and some young couples – all Canarios.

It turned out that the locals she was referring to were the resort’s large, German ex-pat population.

Similarly on websites like Tenerife Forum, the majority of whose members mainly live or holiday in the south of Tenerife (where most of the British ex-pat population reside) when people talk about places the locals eat, they might be referring to ex-pat locals rather than ‘Canario’ locals.

Clearly it’s legitimate to use the term local for someone who lives here irrespective of where they originated. But if you’re planning a holiday, or even looking for a place to live for a while, it’s a distinction that you need to be aware of the next time someone recommends somewhere because it’s ‘where the locals eat’.

Going Native at Christmas on Tenerife

2009-12-03T03:50:00.000-08:00

A couple of years ago we spent a week in at our friend’s house on La Gomera just before Christmas. By the time we returned to Tenerife I’d actually forgotten that (A) La Gomera was part of Spain and not Germany (the small valley she lives in is populated mostly by Germans); (B) It is warm in the Canary Islands at Christmas (she lives 1000 metres up at the edge of the rain forest); and (C) it was actually Christmas. Despite Jo’s complaints that the Gomerans were being seduced more and more by sparkly Christmas baubles and lights, I can only remember seeing two houses with sparkly Xmas decorations in their windows.

Tenerife is different, well parts of it are anyway. Here the Tinerfeños have most definitely succumbed to the temptations of rows of twinkling lights and I for one am not complaining.

There can be a perception that opting to spend Christmas in Tenerife’s warm climes means having to sacrifice all that nice Christmassy atmosphere that balances out the madness of packed shopping centres and overspending in the UK and presumably other northern European countries. But it needn’t be the case.

In Tenerife’s historic centres, some councils really go to town and the streets are festooned with elaborate decorations. When darkness falls, plazas in La Orotava, La Laguna and Puerto de la Cruz are transformed into magical places to sit and pass the time. Add some children from the local brass band, practising festive hymns on their instruments to try to earn a bit of extra dosh and the Christmas atmosphere goes up a couple of notches. Throw in the sweet sound of choirs performing concerts in the plaza’s church and elaborate nativity scenes in shop windows and the vestibules of town halls (anyone who enjoys ‘Carry On’ humour should keep a look out for ‘El Caganer’) and suddenly you’ve got a festive atmosphere straight out of Dickens. And if Teide obliges, as it so often does, you get snow with your sunshine and the promise of a white Xmas, even if it is only visible to the eye on the mountain slopes rather than underfoot.

And the best thing about it all is that there’s a lot less of that materialistic madness that has blighted Christmas a bit in Blighty.

The most ‘Christmassy’ memory I’ve got from anywhere ever is of standing outside the Iglesia de la Peña de Francia in Puerto de la Cruz as the local band played Silent Night and the mixed crowd of Spanish, British and German onlookers sang along. It sent a shiver down my spine and brought a tear to my eye (more than one in truth – Andy. my mum, our nephew and myself were almost openly blubbing). It was the most perfect Christmas moment.

However, there are a few cultural differences as well, so check out our Real Tenerife Christmas page and our Tenerife Matters December blogs to make sure that you get the best out of Christmas on Tenerife and don’t get caught out.

Events on Tenerife: Walk for Life in Playa de las Américas

2009-11-25T06:55:00.000-08:00

We receive lots of queries about walking on Tenerife, well here’s the opportunity to indulge in something you enjoy and also do it for a great cause as donations made go to (AECC) “Asociación Española contra el Cáncer” (Spanish Association against Cancer) and (AMATE) “Asociación de Mujeres afectadas por Cáncer de mama” (Association of Women Affected by Breast Cancer).

Each year, thousands of people turn the promenade at Playa de las Américas into a pink parade in a colourful show of support for those who have been affected by this horrible disease.

Simply, register, make a donation, pick up your Walk for Life t-shirt, or pink cap and you can become a member of the pink parade.

Walk for Life this year takes place on Sunday the 13th December and the route runs along the promenade from the Mediterranean Palace hotel in Playa de las Américas to the Sally Tien Plaza, Costa Adeje.

Have a look at the Walk for Life website for more information

Food and Drink on Tenerife – You Can Tell a Place by its Supermarket

2009-11-23T03:34:00.000-08:00

Here’s a general rule of thumb, if you want to get an idea of what a place is like and what sort of people
live thereabouts visit the local supermarket. It’s essentially important when you’re looking at locations as potential places to move to whether for good, or even just for a couple of months.

When I lived in Levenshulme near Manchester, the local Asda was full of the most exciting and diverse range of food products aimed at satisfying the culinary needs of the different communities living in the area. I could even buy the Jamaican speciality ackee. It was heaven for food lovers .

A few miles further down the road in Stockport, the range of products wasn’t quite as extensive and tended to be generally quite unadventurous, but perfectly adequate for most of the people who shopped there. A further few miles along the A9 in Hazel Grove, Sainsbury’s opened a flagship store aimed at what they saw was a middle class shopper from the ‘posher’ end of Stockport and surrounding area. Whilst the choice wasn’t quite as worldwide as Levenshulme, it did have sun dried tomatoes and the likes – quite adventurous at the time.

On Tenerife it’s no different. A supermarket in Los Gigantes will stock very different items from a supermarket in La Laguna for example. The supermarkets in the tourist resorts are different from the supermarkets which cater for mainly Canarian residents.

I’m a self confessed foodie; I love all types of food and will try virtually anything and subsequently it's important to me that I have access to a wide variety of international products as well as local foods.

In this respect, living in the La Orotava Valley turned out to be perfect; more by luck than by good planning I have to say. The Al Campo supermarket in La Villa isn’t perfect by any means, but there are very few ingredients which I was able to get hold of in the UK (and I mean ingredients, not products which is a completely different thing) that I can’t pick up there.

Products are mostly aimed at the valley’s Canarian residents which means that there are hardly any TV dinners or pre packed meals (an indicator that Canarios still prepare meals from scratch). There are sheets of salted fish, walls of hams, pigs ears, sheep ears, whole skinned rabbits and piglets, horse meat, cow’s tongues and strange things which cling to rocks which I haven’t figured out what to do with yet.

However, there’s also a decent mix of other nationalities in the valley from a variety of countries including Europe, South America and Africa. So the supermarket also has German sausages; cheddar, brie & feta cheese; Mexican, Indian & North African products like ‘ras el hanout’; an incredible spice which adds the most divine flavours to anything it’s sprinkled into.

What it means is that I can still prepare all the recipes I used to before I moved here, as well as adding a few more, locally inspired dishes.

But if you don’t check out what the local supermarket stocks, or even where it is, you could end up like my friend who lives in a remote valley on La Gomera. It’s a beautifully stunning location, but the nearest shop is a thirty to forty minute drive away and it doesn’t stock much anyway. The island’s main supermarket in San Sebastian is only marginally better.

When she stays with us and we go to the supermarket, she always ends up resting her head on one of our shoulders, almost crying at the treasures she sees filling the aisles in front of her eyes - bless her.

Another Month Going Native in Tenerife – Bikers, Neo Hippies, Marauding Clowns and Surreal Killer Whales.

2009-10-26T10:25:00.000-07:00

It doesn’t feel as though there was as much going on this month. The fiestas have slowed to a bit of standstill (on Tenerife that means there are only a handful of them as opposed to one every other day) and we’ve moved into the winter season – the temperature in town yesterday was around 33 degrees Celsius.

The Germans and British are returning to Puerto de la Cruz (I spotted a woman sunbathing in her bra on the harbour beach – a sure sign that the British winter visitors are back) and the vibrancy of the summer months is slowing down to a more sedate pace (until Carnaval kicks in of course).

However, that’s not to say that there’s been nothing happening.

Eco Warriors
We started the month at a lovely little Eco Fest in Los Silos, still one of Tenerife’s secret spots. The bohemians were out in force and unless you were sporting dreadlocks, wearing Arabian pants, or had an impossibly cute mongrel in tow the chances were that you’d be feeling a wee bit dull amongst the hordes of cool looking dudes. Unfortunately the music was crap, courtesy of some incompetent sound engineers.

Hell’s Angels in Garachico
The same night saw leather clad bikers converge on the sleepy picturesque town of Garachico. It was on the same stretch of road as the Eco Fest so we had a two-fest night out. Some of the people were as eye catching as the neo hippies but for different reasons – note: leather mini skirt, fishnets and thigh length boots is a difficult look to pull off when you’re in your 60s. Good music at this one though.

Colourful Killers and Clowns with Frowns
Santa Cruz has featured quite a lot in our travels this month and although we got nowhere with a fashion feature we had planned, we did get to see some surreal killer whales and finally manage a couple of half decent profile photos where we don’t sport expressions like Myra Hindley and Ian Brady.

There’s always something interesting going on in the capital and although I wasn’t overly excited by the idea of a clown street festival (bloody scary things if you ask me) it turned out be quite good fun. Although some of the laughs were unintentional. An Australian clown, Oskar, whose Spanish was limited, ran into serious problems during his ‘sound check’. Every time he started playing a little guitar to check the sound levels a lot of the audience began clapping along. Telling them 'Sssshh, this is a sound check’ in English got him nowhere and every time he strummed, they clapped making his sound check virtually impossible. The expression on his face wasn’t particularly that of a friendly clown – it made me laugh, but I did feel for him.

Three Walks in One Day
A lot of people have been asking about walking on Tenerife, so we figured that we’d better crack on with writing some more ‘Island Walks’ and set ourselves the target of three walks in one day around the Adeje/Arona areas. It was hard going, but we managed it. I’m sure that when we limped into the plaza in San Miguel, tired and dusty looking and then performed a series of leg stretches which really don’t help with any street cred, but do cut down on potential aches and pains (although from the noises Andy made every time she moved the following day, I thought she’d learned Mandarin during the night), the locals in their nice clothes turning up for mass must have thought we were just a pair of odd extranjeros.

Much more fun was a trip around Las Arenas Negras with our friends Nikki, Richard and Baz of Tenerife Dogs fame, especially when the route signposts deserted us and paths became virtually non existent. Still, a beer and an almond cake at the end of the walk in the sunshine just rounded off a very nice day and a great walk.

The end of the period was taking up by working on the final preparations for Tenerife Magazine, the island’s first online English language magazine, which was launched at the end of last week.

We’re working with some really excellent and talented people and are very excited about the project. The magazine also has a great competition to win a week at Sands Beach in Lanzarote which is open to anyone who becomes a fan on Facebook, so sign up and get your name in for the draw.

I’m sure I’ve missed a few things out, like our running battle with the local supermarket over ‘creative pricing’ and the beautiful sunsets and monster waves which coincide with the change of seasons and some outrageous political shenanigans.

All in all, it was just your average month on Tenerife.

Why Would Anyone Have Wanted to Live in the South of Tenerife?

2009-10-12T04:22:00.000-07:00

It’s a question which crossed my mind as we sat eating lunch on an abandoned terrace in a little valley tucked away in the hills above Playa de las Américas and Costa Adeje. It was miles from any decent sized town, the earth was dry and hard and unwelcoming and yet there were empty agricultural terraces lining every slope.

There weren’t many people who made their home in the south of Tenerife before tourism brought the masses and the promise of sunshine and year round warmth made it a desirable place to live, but I wondered what sort of people they were and why they chose to settle in a place which must have been incredibly difficult to farm.

A girl in the Los Cristianos tourist office once told me that when she was young her parents used to bring her to Los Cristianos, but at that time there was hardly anything there. A lot of the inhabitants were fishermen living in caves. She said most of the people there were very poor. It makes sense when you think about it.

Until tourism changed the south coast all the well to do and educated people lived north of Güímar. The north coast is peppered with the most beautiful and grand haciendas, but south of Güímar you’re hard pressed to find anything which comes close to these historic buildings. The best lands (i.e. those in the north) were dished out to the noblemen, therefore the settlers who ended up with plots in the arid lands in the south must have been the poorest of the poor, unable to afford decent land in the more agriculturally friendly areas.

As for the fellow who occupied the remote abandoned valley, he really must have been at the bottom of the ladder, or maybe he was an outlaw, or even a pirate. It’s documented that slave traders operated out of the area and that pirates were in cahoots with some of the wealthier families hereabouts, so maybe he tended his farm some of the time and headed off with other miscreants to Africa to capture slaves the rest of the time. Maybe my imagination was running away with me.

I took a bite out of my bocadillo and gazed over the line of fancy new hotels in upmarket Costa Adeje which had replaced the cave dwelling fishermen, peasant farmers and outlaws and smiled.

How times change. It’s a funny old world.

Passing Time

2009-10-08T09:04:00.000-07:00

I was just thinking about how long we’d lived on Tenerife when it suddenly struck me that it must be very close to our sixth anniversary of moving here. Sure enough, checking the calendar, it was six years ago today that Jack and I arrived on the island to start our new life.

It’s funny to think back to our hopes, fears and expectations when we first got here. Two years ago when this anniversary came around, I took stock of what we’d achieved versus our expectations and looking back on that blog, I think it might be time to do a quick progress report.

1.   Speaking Spanish. I remember saying to Jack as we came into land that we’d probably have to give ourselves 6 months to ‘get used to the language’ before deciding how we were going to make a living here. Six years later I still can’t get over the mind-numbing stupidity and arrogance of that remark. Okay, the current season of ‘Cuétame Cómo Pasó’ is easier to understand than it’s ever been before but it’s still a bit like having an online Spanish lesson and not at all the relaxing experience of watching, say Coronation Street.
2.   Earn a living. I like Jack’s descriptor of this one: “we now earn a livi’ which is almost a living.” Luckily, our taste in cava is still cheap so we can pop a bottle tonight to mark the occasion.
3.   Learn Salsa – I’m afraid a livi’ doesn’t run to salsa lessons.
4.   Earn a living from writing – see 2. above.
5.   Be happy. Yay! Still putting a big, fat tick in that box…most of the time anyway (see 2. above)

So here’s to another year of near perpetual sunshine, forgetting how to walk in high heels, never having to paint a radiator and Going Native in Tenerife…salut!

Parking in Tenerife’s Towns – It Helps to be in the Know.

2009-09-30T08:34:00.000-07:00

First of all I’d like to thank ‘scotrock’ whose comments in the last blog reminded me that trying to find parking in any big town or city can be a real nightmare. This applies pretty much anywhere of course and finding parking in Tenerife’s towns is no exception.

It’s something you tend to erase from your memory when you’ve lived here for a while (isn’t that the brain’s way of dealing with bad experiences), but initially for us Puerto de la Cruz, La Orotava, Santa Cruz, La Laguna and many, many other places on Tenerife all made cracking the Da Vinci Code seem like child’s play compared with finding a place to park.

Of course once you get to know places you discover that there are car parks all over, but this falls into that old Tenerife approach to imparting helpful information to others: ‘you have to already know where the car parks are to know where the car parks are.’ The same thinking applies to fiestas – ‘you have to know what times fiesta events take place to know what time they actually take place.’

If that doesn’t make any sense, spend some time here and it soon will.

Anyway, here’s a brief guide to the big 4 where parking doesn’t have to be a high blood pressure inducing nightmare…

Puerto de la Cruz
Puerto has one of the biggest free car parks on Tenerife and it’s right in the centre of town beside the harbour. The hard bit comes in trying to find it for the first time.

A lot of maps show the area that is actually the car park as the ‘Parque Maritimo’ and sometimes, a bit more accurately, as ‘futuro Parque Maritimo’.
The truth is that it’s been the ‘futuro parque maritimo’ for 30 years, but is, and will be for quite a while longer, the main town car park.

It’s just one of Tenerife’s quaint, or frustrating depending on your viewpoint, little foibles. The main access is beside the town’s football pitch (accessed from the coastal road at Playa Jardín).

La Orotava
Apart from fiesta times, it’s usually easy to park on the residential streets below the Iglesia de la Concepción. However, you have to know your way around to get to them from the motorway. It’s easier for visitors to follow the TF21 (road to Mount Teide) and head right into the San Agustín car park (well signposted) in the centre of town. It’s right on the edge of the old town, so perfect for exploring Tenerife’s most noble town.

Santa Cruz
God bless the new bus station car park. This has to be the best car park in the world. It’s bright, cheap, modern and I can’t think of anything else on Tenerife which has been so well thought out. A lighting system makes finding spaces easy even on the busiest of days (green light means a free space). it’s a 10 minute walk to the centre of town – a fact which deters a lot of Tinerfeños from parking there, so it’s rarely too busy. It’s also easy to get to from the motorway – straight down Avenida Tres de Mayo. It makes driving into the city a joy.

La Laguna
Oh, well. What can you say about La Laguna? It’s a test of nerve for sure. The old town’s narrow streets are particularly testing with drivers unsure of who’s got right of way. Only this week I watched a small white van plough into the side of a car at a junction (nobody was hurt). Amusingly, even the mini version of La Laguna at Pueblo Chico has minor car accidents on its model streets. There are car parks, but negotiating the maze of streets to find them is the big problem.

I found the perfect solution – a free car park on the edge of the old town reached from the ring road which skirts La Laguna on the way to Tegueste. It was perfect. Even on fiesta days I managed to park there easily… until the authorities designated it as the space for a new health centre. However, it was right beside the market which does have a large underground car park, so it’s still a good spot for parking without having to drive through the city.

These are only a brief snapshot, but hopefully they might help some poor souls avoid parking hell on Tenerife.

Did You Hear the One About the Canario, the Swallow and the First Time Visitors to Tenerife?

2009-09-24T06:53:00.000-07:00

I’m nosey, I confess it. I listen in to other people’s conversations all the time. I don’t do it deliberately, but clearly I’ve got one of those built in triggers which kicks in when it hears certain key words.

Last night the words which set it off were ‘giant moth’.

The conversation was taking place between a Canarian barman, a newly arrived pair of British swallows (people who spend the winter in Tenerife and fly back to their home country for summer) and a sweet young couple who were visiting the island for the first time. They'd found themselves staying way off the tourist trail in Isla Baja and had been travelling into Puerto de la Cruz in the evening for a bit of nightlife.

I’d already warmed to the young couple earlier as they had a lovely fresh enthusiasm for learning about Tenerife and had spent a lot of time asking the barman how to say certain things in Spanish. He duly obliged, only coming unstuck when they asked him to translate ‘cider and black’ into Spanish.

Anyway, I’d stopped listening until I heard the words ‘giant moth’. The young couple had moved on from asking the barman how to ask for a ‘roll’ or ‘sea bass’ in Spanish and had started telling a couple of swallows next to them about their exploits.

Seemingly they’d been out and about quite a lot, using only public transport, and that day had visited Icod de los Vinos to see the famous ‘Millenium Drago Tree’. The lad was a bit disappointed that it wasn’t actually shaped like a dragon, but what had impressed them both was a visit to the ‘Mariposario’ butterfly park next to the Drago Tree – especially a little or rather, more accurately, frighteningly mutant sized, fellow called ‘Atticus Atlas’.

The Mariposario is a fascinating place to visit and the young couple were clearly blown away by the experience, if a little freaked by encountering a ‘butterfly’ the size of a blackbird. However, it was the conversation which followed which really interested me. As they enthused about the butterfly park, they asked the swallows if they’d been – they hadn’t. They asked them if they’d been to see the Drago tree – again they hadn’t. Despite having visited the island yearly since before the young couple they were talking to were born, they had never made the 20 minute journey down the coast to see one of Tenerife’s icons. As the young couple rattled off more places, the answers came back, ‘no, not been there’, ‘no, haven’t actually seen that.’

It’s not the first time I’ve heard this type of conversation between ‘interested’ new visitors and people who have visited year after year for the last couple of decades.

I sometimes wonder if some seasoned visitors can become complacent and forget that they haven’t actually seen all there is to see on Tenerife.

The young couple engaged the barmen in the conversation and asked him if he’d seen the ‘super moth.’

“Why would I pay to see a butterfly?” He shrugged his shoulders dismissing the world’s largest butterfly just like that.

It seems it’s not just veteran visitors who can become complacent about getting out and about to discover the best of this island.

A Month Going Native in Tenerife – Fiestas, Cool Bars, Golden Beaches and Transvestites

2009-09-16T05:07:00.000-07:00

Every so often, I like to have a look back at what went on and the things we saw, or did over the previous few weeks. We never manage to get to half of the places, concerts, events or fiestas that we would like to go to that take place on Tenerife on a continual basis – there are just too many. But without exception, there’s always something new to us, something quirky, or something just plain mind blowing in the pot and on too many occasions, the best of them take place outside of many visitors’ radar. Here’s a quick summary of the last few weeks.

The Virgen de Candelaria
The fiesta of the year in Candelaria attracted tens of thousands of pilgrims who walked from all over the island to honour the Canary Island’s patron saint. We cheated and drove. Candelaria looked as good as we’d ever seen it and the basilica looked magnificent as the people of the town re-enacted the Guanche discovering the virgin on the beach in Laurel and Hardy fashion.

Glad to be Gay
Puerto’s gay week was a lot of fun and the gay parade which rounded off the week was like watching a remake of Priscilla, Queen of the desert. The ‘Beauty Queens’ gave their female counterparts a run for the money in the glamour stakes and no doubt had some onlookers who didn’t know what was going on wondering ‘are they, or aren’t they?’

Tenerife’s Most Decadent Bar?
Incredibly our first night time visit to Abaco cocktail bar, what must be one of the island’s most unique bars. Live light jazz in a colonial mansion where the tasteful arrangements of exotic fruits litter the floor.

Getting to the Heart of the Matter in Tejina
It’s been a couple of years since we last saw the people of Tejina, in the garden of Tenerife in the north of the island, bare their hearts in one of the island’s sweetest fiestas. And what stunning hearts they were, made from elaborate designs of fruit and pastries.

Undiscovered Country – The Eastern Anagas
We tested out a potential new route for our Real Tenerife Walks series and found spectacular views, a quirky early warning station from the 2nd World War and also that trying to retrieve a hat blown off by the wind is a sure way to end up with a leg full of cactus spines.

Tenerife’s Best Beach
There’s a lot of work planned for what we think is Tenerife’s most stunning beach, Las Teresitas. Thankfully none of it has so far ruined its exotic appearance – of course we had to spend some time lying on it to check this out… it’s a hard job and all that.

The White Fiesta

Puerto’s last dance fiesta of the summer involved everyone wearing white. It turned out we were the oldest revellers there by decades… apart from the Bavarians who had wandered along from the Bavarian Beer Festival in their lederhosen to add a surreal element to the scene.

Some young Tinerfeño lads, one of whom insisted that he was Jim Carrey’s distant cousin through his mother’s side, told me confidently that Manchester United would win the Champion’s League this season, but Tenerife would win it next season, presumably after winning La Liga. Bless them.

Country Lanes and Fresh Trout
And the four weeks were rounded off by a gentle stroll through La Orotava’s pine forests and Aguamansa’s flower lined country lanes followed by a lunch of fresh trout (2 for €4.80) in the forestry worker’s favourite haunt at La Caldera.

One of the wonderful things about this island is that there is no such thing as a typical month in Tenerife… if you’re willing to make the effort that is.

The Weather in Tenerife… Again. The North of Tenerife in Summer

2009-09-08T09:35:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I was having a conversation about different parts of Tenerife with a bloke who lives in the south of the island. He told me that he thought the north of Tenerife around Puerto de la Cruz was beautiful and lush, but he couldn’t live there because it was too cold and wet.

We’ve covered this topic many times in the past and will no doubt do so again, and again, but the weather is something that comes up over and over on forums, travel sites and just about every time I meet someone who doesn’t live in the north and I tell them where I stay. It is a topic that is especially dear to poor old weather weary Brits’ hearts, who every year are promised a burning hot summer and invariably end up with a washed out one.

The perception of the weather in the north of Tenerife is partly based on facts, partly based on a misleading interpretation of what cooler and wetter than the south of Tenerife actually means, partly based on a lack of understanding of weather readings and partly because of perceptions by people who don’t actually live there - like my friend who thought it was always too cold and wet.

Here are a few facts that will hopefully paint a more accurate picture of the weather in the north, especially over the summer months.

We’ve eaten breakfast, lunch and dinner outside on the terrace every day since the beginning of June.
The last time we saw any rain was a brief shower during the night in June (the fact that there was any rain in June was unusual). There is hardly any rain between June and October. Of course, I've probably jinxed it now.
We very rarely wear anything other than a T-shirt and shorts between June and October – anything else and we’d be sweating buckets.
Most of the time between July and September the temperature is touching the 30 degrees mark (remember that official readings are always taken in the shade, which is why it always feels hotter on holiday than the average temperatures suggest).

This is what the north of Tenerife is really like in the summer months.

So here’s a bit of advice. If you want to know what the weather is really like for any part of Tenerife whether it’s south, west, east or north only ever believe the advice from someone who actually lives in that area, or knows it very, very well.

Learning Spanish – the art of miscommunication.

2009-09-01T07:36:00.000-07:00

Before moving to Tenerife, Jack and I spent an academic year doing night school courses in Spanish at the Cervantes Institute in Manchester.
We had an absolutely brilliant group with whom we bonded right from the start and together we stuttered and stumbled our way through Elementary Spanish levels 1 to 3.

Having mastered the rudimentary of such everyday situations as introducing ourselves, asking directions, going to the doctor and ordering food and drink, we set off for our new life.
We arrived in Puerto de la Cruz at 10pm on a Sunday night and had to go to a local bar to ask for the agent who held the keys to our house. We confidently asked the barman:
“Do you know where Fredy is?” and then stood with our mouths open while he gave his response.
As the torrent of unintelligible sounds floated past our ears with not one single recognisable word in it, we looked at each other in horror and realised we’d spent £600 apiece and a year of our lives learning the wrong Spanish.

Studying Castellano and then arriving in the Canaries is the equivalent of a Spaniard learning English and then moving to Newcastle or Glasgow. Although technically it’s the same language, it might as well be Mandarin for all the understanding you’re going to have to begin with.

But the ear gradually becomes attuned and little by little you begin not only to understand more but to find yourself dropping the ‘s’ off everything and swallowing your vowels as if they were tasty morsels. And inevitably, there can be misunderstandings.

I was reading Julie’s very funny article on ‘Speaking in Tongues’ last week and it reminded me of a couple of our own early blunders.
When we first moved here we rented a house in the town and the first time I went next door I introduced myself and said I was their new window (neighbour = vecino, window = ventana). Well, I was close.
Then when we went to buy a car the salesman asked Jack for his telephone number to which Jack replied that he couldn’t give it to him because his husband had it! As wife (mujer) is nothing like husband (marido) I’m still not quite sure what happened there but Jack says it’s because he was used to introducing himself as my husband.
Then there was the time Jack told the hairdresser to trim his dog (pelo=hair, perro=dog) or the very near escape I had when ordering an ice cream known as Trufi Cono here (I’m afraid that one is strictly for the adult Spanish speakers!)

So if you’re coming to Tenerife on holiday or thinking of moving here, it’s worth knowing a couple of things about the language.

Like so much of the culture in Tenerife, the language has its roots firmly embedded in South America so you won’t hear the lisped ‘th’ sound of Castellano here. Most words ending in ‘s’ have the ending dropped so that ‘dos’ (two) is pronounced ‘do’ (like ‘dot’ but without the T) and when Canarios converse they run all their words together as if there were a tax on the use of single words. There are also some words which are uniquely Canario, like a bus which is guagua (pronounced wahwah) as if we were all still 5 years old, and ‘papas’ for potatoes.

But at the end of the day, it’s simply about making yourself understood or, as Michel Thomas says, getting it ‘over the net’ and any attempt to speak their language will always be appreciated by the Canarios, even if it’s only “por favor” and “gracias” (minus the ‘s’ of course).

The Virgen of Candelaria on Tenerife – Can You Tell the Difference Between a Woman and a Piece of Wood?

2009-08-18T04:58:00.000-07:00

We’d been toying with the idea of joining one of the pilgrimages to Candelaria to honour the Canary Island’s patron saint, the black virgin, at the weekend. In the end we bottled it and decided to drive instead.

When you go to a lot of fiestas on Tenerife, you learn to spot signs that ultimately will save you time in the long run. The first on Friday of last week was the queue of traffic at the Punta Larga end of Candelaria. This is the opposite end of town from where the celebrations were taking place, but if the Canarios were leaving the motorway at this point, it meant the other junction was going to be a nightmare. We were incredibly lucky with parking and found what seemed to be the last legitimate spot in the whole of the town. I say legitimate because once the parking spaces are all gone, the Canarios employ a bit of ingenuity. Zebra crossings are next option to park, then it’s the pavements, the tiniest square of waste ground… wherever there’s the slightest hint of a space.

Two things took us by surprise in Candelaria on Friday night. The first was that the town looked quite attractive by dark. We’d only ever visited Candelaria in the day time before and whilst the area around the Basilica is quite quaint and the Mencey statues are impressive, much of the town is semi high-rise and bland. At night the less appealing parts are disguised by the darkness, so the rather smart promenade lined with tempting looking restaurants becomes the focus and it looks like a pleasant place to spend a bit of time.

The second surprise was that the party wasn’t just taking place around the Basilica. The promenade between the Basilica and the marina was filled with food stalls, an ethnic market, fairground attractions and an agricultural market. Bunting added colour to the pretty plaza and the Basilica, lit up splendidly, looked much older and grander than its relatively young 50 years (and I mean this as a compliment).

The main event of the evening was the re-enactment of the discovery of the Virgen de Candelaria by a pair of Guanche shepherds who would have to climb a couple of steps on the intellectual ladder to reach ‘Dumb and Dumber’ status.
Not only are they spectacularly stupid (they couldn’t tell the difference between a real woman and baby and a wooden one), they’re also a bit cowardly as is the rest of their tribe, if the re-enactment is to be believed anyway. Fancy a whole gang of strapping men with spears being scared off by a woman holding a baby? I’ve probably just committed Canarian blasphemy there – still as long as I carry a wooden image of a woman holding a baby I should apparently be able to fend off any number of people who want to take issue (think crucifixes and vampires here).

I wonder what the noble Menceys who stand erect and proud on the seaward side of the plaza would think of the buffoonery which is played out before them. Still, it’s all good fun, especially if you park the rational section of your brain at the same time as you park the car.

As the night progressed the town became busier and busier and the Basilica looked spectacular periodically lit up by the ubiquitous firework displays. However, the image which will remain etched in my brain was the sight of thousands upon thousands of pilgrims of all ages carrying wooden staffs streaming into Candelaria from all corners of the island. Many looked shattered and on their last legs, but all were laughing and beaming from ear to ear at finally reaching their destination.

I might gently mock the re-enactment, but the devotion displayed by the pilgrims is something completely different, something which shows how important being Canario is to them. To witness it was quite an experience.

See More Virgen de Candelaria Photographs Here

What do People Eat on Tenerife?

2009-08-12T05:18:00.000-07:00

Part of the fun of travelling is about trying out the local cuisine, right? Maybe for most people but not for all.
Over the last week I’ve read and seen a few things which made me think about people’s approach to trying something different in food terms.
The first cases fit the classic profile of what the general impression is of some of the British holidaymakers who choose Tenerife as a holiday destination.
One comment I read more or less said, ‘because I’m in Tenerife doesn’t mean I have to eat Canarian food’. The other was the almost clichéd ‘I don’t want all that foreign muck’.

There’s a couple of points about these statements that are interesting (to me anyway). The first is that the people who said them clearly haven’t a clue what Canarian food consists of.

Much of it is very simply grilled meats (pork, lamb, steaks, chicken), or fish (a much more interesting selection if you’re a foodie) usually served with papas arrugadas (literally wrinkled potatoes) which are really just salty, boiled potatoes. You get the impression that any veg on the plate is there because the chef feels obliged to include some; it’s usually more like a garnish.

The point is that whilst it’s very nice it’s not exactly adventurous cuisine and I’m willing to bet that it isn’t a million miles from what these people who wouldn’t touch ‘foreign muck’ probably regularly eat for dinner (well maybe not the fish).

The second point that occurred to me was that these people weren’t typical of British people at all. Our lack of adventure in culinary terms is a bit of a myth. Otherwise why would our cities and even decent sized towns all have plenty of Indian, Chinese, Greek, Spanish, Lebanese, Italian, Turkish restaurants etc?

We’ve eaten with Spanish people twice over the last week. One meal was cooked for us, the other we cooked. One was simply grilled meats – no veg to speak of, the other was a Thai green curry with fish. Guess who cooked what?

In our experience, the Canarians eat predominantly Canarian food. Nothing wrong with that, but like the Brits quoted above it does betray a certain lack of adventure, or inquisitive nature about what other people around the world eat. And it isn’t just food. I had held an imaginary conversation in my head about the wine we brought to our friend’s meal because I just knew what would happen when we handed it over. The conversation panned out almost exactly as I had imagined it.
Andy had handed over the bottle and it was examined, almost suspiciously.

“Hmmm, this isn’t Spanish wine.”
“No, it’s South African. It’s very nice.”
“You don’t like Spanish wine?”
“Yes, but sometimes it’s nice to have a change…try something different.”
“Hmmm, Spanish wine is very good, try mine.”

He poured us a glass and opened the South African Pinotage and poured himself a measure.

“Hmmm, it’s not bad… but the Spanish wine is better.”

No surprise at that conclusion.

The next night we dished up the Thai curry to other Spanish friends. One of our guests eyed it suspiciously and after a few questions about what the ingredients were, she pushed it around her bowl for the next 20 minutes picking at it every so often. She hadn’t really eaten non-Spanish food before - something that doesn’t seem to be uncommon. I once heard a young Spanish couple in a Mexican restaurant in Puerto de la Cruz asking what Chilli con Carne was. Chilli has become a bog standard meal time favourite in the UK, as has many ‘foreign’ dishes. This isn’t the case here.

There are plenty of great restaurants on Tenerife and, apart from those in some of the southern resort areas, nearly every one of them has a traditional Canarian, or Spanish menu.

The Mysterious East – Tenerife’s overlooked coastline.

2009-08-03T07:02:00.000-07:00

Tenerife’s east coast isn’t the prettiest aspect of the island and the TF1 motorway which links north with south means that most people don’t give much of the east coast barely more than a glance when they whiz between Santa Cruz and the southern resorts.

There are no historic towns to bus the tourists to, there are no real towns of any sort for most of the length of the east coast and yet that’s not to say that it doesn’t have its curious corners, but they do tend to be tucked away, some along roads that seem to lead nowhere. Some are quite well known, like the wind farms visible from the motorway, or the deserted lepers’ colony overlooking the coves at Abades, others I’ve never seen photos of nor heard their names mentioned in almost six years of researching the island.

The first time we realised there were oddities to be found was when we were looking for a donkey sanctuary ‘Los Burros Alegres’. We didn’t find the donkeys, they were long gone, but we ended up in a decent sized town which was unremarkable except that it didn’t have any tarmac on its streets and some roads led straight into the hillside beside the town. For a while we got completely lost in the strange town and had to send a text to friends that read:

‘Can’t meet up, we’re stuck looking for the happy donkeys in a town with no roads.’

The map we were using, one of the better Tenerife maps, didn’t even have the town marked on it.
Since then whenever we get the chance we leave the TF1 and head off into the unknown to see what lies at the ends of narrow roads with no names. Usually there are little fishing communities, many with the same interchangeable harbour which has us questioning whether we’ve actually visited the place before, but sometimes we find somewhere really quite bizarre. Last week we stumbled on two of these places.

The first consisted of a ramshackle promenade where the houses were built almost on top of each other. There wasn’t a street to speak of just an undulating path weaving alongside weather beaten fishermen’s cottages and through narrow arches. On the seaward side a thick bleached white rope and driftwood fence acted as a barrier to the Atlantic which pounded the shoreline yards from the unprotected houses. It was an untidy hotchpotch of a place, but that isn’t to say that it didn’t possess a certain anarchic charm.

The second place was even more of a surprise, consisting partly of a troglodyte community. Many of the houses on its main street were built into the cliffs, with a few actually constructed inside a large cave. The place even had a decent swimming pool where most of the town’s inhabitants seemed to be sunning themselves. Once again it wasn’t mentioned on any maps I’ve got of Tenerife.

This island is always surprising us; these places are all within half an hour’s drive of the main southern tourist resorts, yet strolling through their odd little streets it’s easy to believe that you’re somewhere that has been completely by-passed by tourism. In a way, I suppose they have.

The South of Tenerife was Purpose Built for Tourism – Another Tenerife Myth

2009-07-29T07:04:00.000-07:00

Recently we retraced one of the routes in our Real Tenerife Island Drives guidebook to make sure that the information was still up to date.

It was reassuring to see that nothing had changed, but what’s more it also reminded us of the perceptions we had of Tenerife, particularly the south of Tenerife even after we had moved to the island.

One of our first writing commissions on Tenerife was a location report about the town of San Miguel de Abona in the hills above the south coast. That commission completely changed our opinion of the south of the island.

We discovered a charming little town which dated back to shortly after the conquest, where little English was spoken and the nightlife centred around the ‘Rincon del Ron’ (rum corner) in a converted old bodega and at the Canarian wresting ring. It also had some great little restaurants tucked away in its vertiginous streets. It wasn’t what we expected and I have to admit that it was a compete surprise to find a town that went so completely against my image of the south of Tenerife. It wasn’t an isolated case.As we got to know the south of the island better we discovered more friendly little towns full of character with picturesque squares and beautiful baroque churches whose grandness seemed out of proportion with the size of the towns they were in. On terraces surrounding the towns, people pottered about in plots growing potatoes and tending vines. They were about as far away from the popular image of Tenerife as you could get and yet were only a short drive from the biggest of the southern resorts.Like I said at the start, not a lot had changed since we first wrote the route, or since we included the most interesting of the towns in more detail for the southern chapters of ‘Going Native in Tenerife’. Unsurprising really, probably not a lot has changed in centuries.

Playa de las Américas and Costa Adeje may be purpose built tourist pleasure domes for sure, but much of the south of Tenerife is distinctly Canarian in character and as culturally strong as it always has been.

Are You a Tourist, a Traveller…or a NIT?

2009-07-13T08:07:00.000-07:00

“Tourists don’t know where they’ve been, travellers don’t know where they’re going.”
- Paul Theroux

The term ‘tourist’ seems almost like a dirty word these days. It can be used with disdain by ‘serious’ travellers and in Tenerife even from some ex-pats who now go to great pains to point out that they don’t ‘live amongst the tourists’, clearly forgetting that they must have come here originally as ‘tourists’ themselves.

As far as my antique OED is concerned anyone who travels for recreation is a tourist, so that pretty much covers most of us, including serious travellers and those who think that two weeks by a pool constitutes travelling.

However, it’s the attitude to travel which makes the difference and which I think Paul Theroux is referring to. Maybe we need a new word…NIT perhaps (Non Interested Tourist).

NITS are happy to travel across the world to sit by a pool, or on a beach, for two weeks and not visit anywhere, try any of the local food, or get involved with any of the local culture.

Going Native in Tenerife is definitely not for NITs

I’m not the biggest fan of organised excursions – I think they can be a sanitised way of seeing a place without having any real interaction with the locals – but I recognise they’re a convenient method of experiencing a taste of a country/location, at least for people who can be a bit intimidated by the unfamiliar. And if you're not comfortable about driving abroad, they do allow you at least to see some of the island.

However it drives me mad when I read on travel forums “I’ve seen all there is to see on Tenerife” from people who've been on one whistle stop coach excursion.

I’ve been trekking all over this island for nearly six years and yet I wouldn’t dream of making that claim.

These are the people who say: ‘I’ve been working hard; I want to chill out on the beach this time…I’ll go sightseeing next time.”

You know when you hear this, that they really think of sightseeing or getting involved in anything remotely cultural as a chore.

It’s an excuse. They’re simply NITs in disguise and Going Native in Tenerife isn’t for them either.
So who is Going Native in Tenerife aimed at?

The answer is people who might be interested in the following:

Where to see one of the longest and most spectacular firework displays in Europe
Sipping jasmine tea (or a cool beer) in a chic café set in fairytale gardens accompanied by some of the best views on Tenerife.
Strolling through a bamboo tunnel in Tenerife’s most romantic and artistic park.
Sampling seafood at a tiny harbour side restaurant where fishermen unload their catch a few feet in front of you.
Drinking cool mojitos and watching hot sexy salsa in a bar which feels as though it belongs in downtown Havana.
Floating in large azure rock pools far from the madding crowd (not Garachico).
Exploring grandiose churches, one with the skull and crossbones inlaid into its stone floor.
Driving through a tunnel hewn into the rock where you can enter one side in moody cloud and emerge from the other under clear blue skies.
Dining at the restaurant where King Juan Carlos eats when he comes to Tenerife, or alternatively the Tasca which brews its own beer on the premises...

…and any number of other gems which actually involve exploring the island.

In short, anyone who isn’t a NIT.

(All the information listed above and loads of other snippets which you are unlikely to find in other guidebooks can be found in Going Native in Tenerife.)

Pictures of Tenerife – The Island of Contrasts

2009-06-30T06:04:00.000-07:00

They say a picture paints a thousand words; well if that’s the case, then I can pretty much shut up and let the photos tell you what I want to say.

The following are a few images of places and fiestas included in ‘Going Native in Tenerife’ and are designed to illustrate what Tenerife is really like.

If you recognise them and it fits your picture of this incredibly diverse island, then hat’s off to you, you know the real Tenerife pretty well…on the other hand, if they’re nothing like the Tenerife you imagined, or thought you knew, then there’s a wonderful island out there just waiting to be discovered.

Click here to see more scenes of the Tenerife where the 'natives' live.

Going Native Across the Pond

2009-06-24T05:50:00.000-07:00

This week we've got a virtual house guest, the sort of guest who's a real pleasure to have; he eats whatever we're eating, causes no extra washing up or expense and is as funny as an MP's expenses claim. However he is moaning (a lot) about the lack of scones here!

Mike Harling has come to us from the US, via West Sussex and has an extremely funny book out called 'Postcards from across the Pond' about his life as an ex-pat. Buy it, it's a real hoot and a perfect holiday read.
So here, without any further ado, is Mike Harling...

Going Native Across the Pond

Ahhh, back on the beach. Tenerife is nice; I like visiting a place I have to look up on Google Earth to find. Turns out, it's one of the Canary Islands, so I've been in the neighborhood before. If you don't know where the Canary Islands are, I suggest Google Earth.

My new best friend Andy (anyone who invites me to their home, supplies me with unending amounts of barbecued shrimp, cold Corona and Cuban cigars and allows me to post about my book on their blog--which is supposed to be about their book--is automatically my best friend) not only located Tenerife on a map, she moved here. Seems she got tired of the stunning scenery, the variable climate and amazing history of Britain and decided to settle for constant sun, sandy beaches and spectacular mountain vistas.

Not satisfied with that, she wrote a book about how you can do it, as well, if you are so inclined. Strikes me as a bit of a niche market; my book may be about life in Britain but it's a humor book. So if you want to laugh, buy my book; if you want sun and sandy beaches, buy Andy's

Actually, I completely understand the allure of moving to someplace like this; it happened to me once:

In a long ago December, I left my land of cold and snow in upstate New York (try minus 28 degrees centigrade, Sparky, and we measure our snow in feet, not centimeters) for a week of sun and surf and scuba diving in St. Maarten. I was so totally captivated by the sunshine, warm ocean breezes and laid-back life style that I actually did begin looking into moving there.

It turned out to be a daunting task. What I needed was an Andy Mont of St. Maarten to have written "Going Native in St. Maarten," but there was nothing of the kind. Too bad, I could now be enjoying a life of simple pleasures, making a living carving drift wood into tourist-pleasing shapes or serving drinks with umbrellas in them to sunburned New Yorkers, rather than having to go on these grueling tours just so I can sell enough books to help me pay my heating bill through the long, damp British winters.

"What's that, Andy? A margaretta? Why, thank you, I'd love one."

Now where was I? Oh yes, Britain, and leaving it.

Being a relative newcomer to Blighty, I still regard Britain as an exotic place, so I'm happy to remain there. Besides, dark and dreary as it can be, the climate is still paradise compared to what I left behind. It's all a matter of perception.

Even so, Andy won't have a hard time convincing me to come back for a visit.

Would you like to participate in the 2009 KINDNESS of STRANGERS TOUR?
Visit the Tour Page to sign up or to view the latest Tour updates.

Michael Harling is an American author living in the UK

What is there to do in Tenerife?

2009-06-22T04:30:00.000-07:00

One of the biggest events in the fiesta calendar took place on tenerife last week; the Corpus Christi flower carpets of La Orotava, but this blog isn’t about them…well maybe a tiny bit is.

As I was preparing my camera for Corpus Christi by freeing up space on the memory card I got sidetracked into checking what images were already on it. Odd though this may sound (because…well I was obviously present when they were taken), I was quite taken aback by the diversity of the photographs that charted events over the last couple of weeks.

La Caldera and Aguamansa – We’ve just put together a walking guide for this area and had the most wonderful walk along country lanes where local farmers still get around on horseback.

Brazilians at the harbour – There’d been a batucada competition beside the old customs house at the harbour which had lasted all afternoon.

Peaches – lots of shots of our peach tree, it was jam and chutney making time…which reminds me I’ve still got to design some labels for the jars.

Elephants on the streets – The circus in Santa Cruz drummed up a bit of business by holding a mini parade of clowns, acrobats and two elephants through Puerto’s streets…leaving a lot of open mouthed tourists in their wake.

Agatha Christie in Puerto – it was also the second Agatha Christie Festival and there was an interesting exhibition of old photos of the town in the Santo Domingo Convent.

Exposaldo 2009 – Big trade fair where lot’s of businesses were selling old stock at knock down prices, but the €3 entry price was a bit strange…like paying an entrance fee to a shopping centre (can’t see it catching on). The out of place ‘barrow boys’ were a hoot though and spending time at the Auditorio was good. The highlight was a detour to the El Tanque Cultural Space where we couldn’t figure out if we were viewing modern art, or were just in a big room with the lights turned out.

Promotion for CD Tenerife – mad scenes in Santa Cruz and an unplanned wash for the camera as CD were promoted to La Primera of La Liga…historic.

And finally, the alfombristas putting the finishing touches to the massive sand tapestry in La Orotava the day before Corpus Christi.

And that was only the things that we managed to do, as always there were a whole load of other events taking place as well.

What is there to do in Tenerife?

More than you can ever possibly imagine.

The ‘Going Native in Tenerife’ Test – Have You Gone Native Yet?

2009-06-08T09:14:00.000-07:00

For me part of ‘Going native in Tenerife’ means making the effort to enjoy the same sort of events and activities as my Tinerfeño hosts. These are the sort of things which can make the difference between simply scratching the surface of visiting or living on Tenerife and really trying to get to the heart of what makes Tinerfeños tick.

Here’s a purely subjective fun quiz to take if you want to check how ‘native’ you’ve gone:

Visited the Mount Teide crater: (1 point) – any visitor to Tenerife, who hasn’t been to the Mount Teide crater, hasn’t really been to Tenerife. Add a bonus point if you’ve been when there’s snow in the crater. This is a real Tinerfeño thing to do.

Have eaten one of the islander’s favourite dishes: Conejo (rabbit), Viejo (parrot fish), or Puchero (Canarian stew) (1 point for each) – if you’ve tried gofio amasado add a bonus point and if you’ve eaten in a Guachinche award yourself an extra bonus point.

Dressed up for Carnaval: (1 point) – This is a must; the biggest bash of the year and the only way to submit to its hedonistic charms is to get into fancy dress. Add a bonus point if you’re a man who has dressed as a woman (only during Carnaval though).

Been at a Romería: (1 point) – there are so many of these throughout the year that you have to go out of your way to avoid them. Free food and wine dished out by gorgeous girls and handsome hunks in traditional costume. If you’ve bought and used one of those little glasses that Romería-goers wear around their neck add a bonus point. Award another bonus point if you or your kids actually own a traditional costume.

Picnicked in the woods: (1 point) Every Sunday, fiestas, birthday parties etc Tinerfeños head for the hills laden down with food. Zona Recreativas become jam packed with picnickers. If you’ve ever actually used the barbecues at a zona recreativa give yourself a bonus point.

Cheered when the Virgen del Carmen is placed onto a fishing boat during the fishermen’s fiesta: (1 point) In summer every town, village and hamlet with a fishing community celebrates this one.

Bathed in the sea on Midsummer’s Eve: (2 points) This may be a bit specialist, but it dates back to Guanche times and thousands of Tinerfeños from abuelas (grandma's) to niños (kids) take to the ‘magical’ waters at midnight.

Parked on a Pedestrian Crossing: (2 points) Almost the ultimate in ‘Going Native’ (immediately subtract 1 point for breaking the law). Striped lines represent ‘exclusive’ parking spaces for some Tinerfeños. Award a bonus point if you never use the inside lane of a roundabout on Tenerife.

Travelled on local buses: (1 point) It would be unfair to exclude non-drivers, so here’s an easy hit. Add a bonus point if you have a ‘bono’ card. If you don’t know what a bono card is, subtract a point.

Undertaken the annual pilgrimage to Candelaria in August: (3 points) The ultimate in going native. If you’ve done this all I can say is…WOW.

Bonus

Cheer on CD Tenerife: (1 point) As CD Tenerife stand on the brink of glory, it’s only fair to include a point for anyone who’s supported them at the Heliodoro Rodriguez Lopez Stadium. ‘Adelante Tenerife’

So How Did You Do?

15-20 points: You’re more Tinerfeño than most Tinerfeños. In fact you’re probably a Guanche.

10-15 points: You’ve really gone native.

5-10 points: Okay, good start. You’ve dipped a toe in the water, now it’s time to dive in.

3-5 points: Could try harder, but the good news is that you’ve got a lot of great things left to experience.

Under 3 points: Admit it, you’ve never left your hotel or apartment complex have you?

Beaches on Tenerife – Beach Habits of the British, Germans and Spanish

2009-06-01T08:15:00.000-07:00

Until I moved to Tenerife I hadn’t realised that which country you came from determined how you acted when you headed to the beach. But since moving to Puerto de la Cruz I’ve noticed different beach behavioural patterns for various nationalities.

The Germans and the British are remarkably similar. At Playa Jardín the sunbeds are situated at the top of the beach. There’s a line beyond which they can’t be taken. It’s an idea I approve of; personally I detest the unnatural order of neat rows of sunbeds ruining a beach’s natural beauty, so Puerto’s compromise works well for me.

During winter months, these sunbeds are filled with German and British visitors; the sand in between them and the sea is the domain of the Canarians and those too mean to fork out for a bed (i.e. us).

The Spanish at the Beach
Around June, the balance completely changes. The Spanish mainlanders begin to arrive in their droves and although a few Brits and Germans occupy a handful of sunbeds, the majority are left empty.

Generally speaking the Spanish don’t use sunbeds, opting instead to find a space on the beach; the closer to the water’s edge the better.

There could be any number of reasons for this. If I gave them the benefit of the doubt I’d say it was because the sand gets uncomfortably hot in summer months; too hot to walk on. The sand closer to the water is less hot, so scalded soles are less of an issue.
If I was being mean I’d say it was laziness; the closer to the water, the shorter distance to walk to the sea – similar to the approach they have to parking.

There’s also another distinctive factor which identifies when the beach is full of Spanish…umbrellas. The space between the sunbeds and the ocean is transformed into a sea of colour as everyone erects an umbrella. Where some Brits and the Germans will lie in the sun until they’re the colour of a horse’s saddle, the Spanish sensibly take long breaks in the shade.

Sights to Look Out For...If You Dare
Apart from that there are plenty of other little quirks that act as a giveaway to whether your beach companions are British, German or Spanish:

The middle aged woman on the right has wrapped a humungous towel around her and is performing acrobatic contortions to change from her underwear to swimsuit to ensure nobody might catch a glimpse of her white bits – British

The man standing up in the middle of the beach has just whipped off his swimming trunks, exposing his meat and two veg to all and sundry, and stands surveying the beach with his hands on his hips for a few moments before pulling on his underpants – German

Two girls in their twenties with heads bent over are carefully plucking away at their pubes with a pair of tweezers – Spanish (this one always brings a gasp of horror from our female visitors)

The man in front of you has the perfect outline of a brilliantly white vest type T-shirt burnt onto his skin – British

The woman behind you changes her bikini every five minutes. She has one for swimming, one for going to the beach bar, one for lying on her front, one for lying on her back…etc – Spanish

And the worst of all…

The couple sunbathing on your left have both rolled down the bottoms of their swimming costume so that it creates a sort of crossroads effect half way down the crack of their backside – this is definitely German and quite the worst crime on the beach.

Our friend who lives in a predominantly German valley once did this when she was sunbathing beside us and was told in no uncertain terms to pull her bottoms up or move well away from us.

I used to find sunbathing terminally boring…not on the beaches of Tenerife.

Nightlife in Puerto de la Cruz - You Need to Go Native to Get the Best of it

2009-05-26T04:18:00.000-07:00

Tenerife in May
May is a quiet month in Tenerife for visitors. The British and German swallows who spend their winters at the coastal resorts have flown back to their homeland and the Spanish mainlanders won’t descend in their thousands (to the north anyway) until late June.

Many restaurateurs in the north of Tenerife choose May to take their holidays and some restaurants in Puerto de la Cruz can be shut for a whole month.
It’s a quiet month for sure and for anyone who opts to stay in somewhere like Puerto de la Cruz it might seem as empty as a graveyard…if they simply stick to the sort of hours and patterns they keep at home.

Nightlife in Puerto de la Cruz
Watching the football in the bar on Sunday I heard a British visitor comment that the town was dead. He mentioned that he’d been to the Shamrock Bar, an Irish hostelry in the more modern part of town, close to many hotels. He’d arrived at about nine and was the first person in the bar.

It’s not the first time I’ve heard people commenting that Puerto is quiet at night. A couple of years ago, again whilst watching football on a Sunday, another British holidaymaker had mentioned that the British bar he’d spent his Saturday night in had been nearly empty; he also commented that there wasn’t much nightlife in Puerto. This time it was in November, the other ‘quiet’ month.

It’s interesting how different people form different perspectives about the places they visit.

Take visitor number two. At the same time he was sitting with a handful of other punters in the bar, it was the Fiesta of San Andrés in the old town. There were live bands playing in Plaza del Charco and kiosks selling wine, chestnuts and sardines beside the harbour. The place was buzzing.

Visitor number one was a bit different, there weren’t any live bands playing in the harbour, but by the time he wandered back to his hotel, grumbling about how there was no-one around, the local population were probably only just coming out to play.

How to Go Native
Some of our visiting friends have been horrified when we told them that there was no point in going out till midnight. But the fact is that the liveliest bars in the bigger authentic Canarian towns don’t hit their peak till after one in the morning. Because of this many, many visitors miss the best of the nightlife. The other thing is that much of the fun doesn’t take place inside; it takes place in the streets.

If you want to really ‘go native’ you have to set aside your normal patterns and embrace those of the place you’re visiting.

On Sunday after the football finished we left the bar and wandered back to the old town via the harbour. It was about seven o’clock and the low sun bathed the cobbles in a warm golden light. The harbour was packed with people; there was a Brazilian butacada competition taking place beside the old customs house and young Canarios stood on the harbour wall swaying in time to the seductive samba rhythms. The place had a wonderful atmosphere which felt more South American than Spanish.

Of course from his position on his stool, the man in the bar wouldn’t have been aware of any of this.

Around La Caldera in North Tenerife – Fresh Food Guaranteed

2009-05-21T07:05:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I experience moments of profound well-being on Tenerife. At other times I experience moments where I want to tear my hair out in frustration, but that’s part and parcel of really ‘Going Native’. Thankfully the well-being moments outnumber the others.

Yesterday we’d just finished a walk in the upper La Orotava Valley; one of our favourite routes on Tenerife as it opens up the sort of views that had ‘wowed’ the German naturalist Alexander Von Humboldt two centuries previously.

The log cabin bar at La Caldera zona recreativa which serves as the venue for a post walk cerveza is shut on a Wednesday, so we decamped to the bigger Restaurant Aguamansa in the nearby hamlet of the same name.

Aguamansa is the last village on the northern road to Mount Teide and the restaurant is the last building in the village, so the views up the hill are of virgin pine and laurel forest and the spine of the island not that far above. In the warm sunshine it is the most wonderful spot.

As we eased our feet out of our walking boots and into sandals we watched a trio of miniature ponies framed against the columns of the Los Órganos rock formations frolic amongst the wild flowers in the field beside the restaurant.
A pick-up with a load of hay three times its size wobbled past on the road going about 20 kilometres an hour (fast for up there). Its rasping engine woke up the recovering birds of prey in the sanctuary and trout farm opposite and they added their shrieking cries to the scene. Everyone who entered the restaurant smiled a ‘buenas tardes’ as they passed us. It was the perfect spot to relax with a cold beer after a long walk.

The exertions of the walk had brought on an appetite and I had a look at the menu. It was pretty typical of restaurants in the hills: grilled meats and fish. But as well as the usual veal, cherne (grouper), steak and pork this one had fresh trout (as you might expect being opposite a trout farm), rabbit (a Tenerife favourite) and goat.

As I read the word cabra (goat) on the menu I heard a bleating from around the back of the restaurant. I’d spotted the goats when I arrived, but the penny didn’t drop until that moment. At least you knew that the meat here was going to be super fresh.

I try not to be a hypocrite when it comes to eating meat. I don’t balk when I see whole skinned pigs and rabbits in the supermarket or when served with a fish with head and tail intact (wouldn’t have it any other way). But in this case I failed. There’s one thing knowing that your food was once an animal, but knowing which individual animal it was is another kettle of fish…that makes it far too personal.

I’ve clearly still got a long way to go before I can truly say I’ve completely gone native.

Going Native in Tenerife - Now on Sale in Tenerife

2009-05-12T03:11:00.000-07:00

At long last Going Native in Tenerife is available to buy on Tenerife itself. There is only a limited supply available on the island so there are only two outlets selling Tenerife’s latest and most honest guidebook. These are:

The Bookswap on the 1st floor of the Marina at Puerto Colón

And

Barbara’s Bookshop, Calle Amalia Frías, 3; Los Cristianos

Send an email to editor@realtenerifeislanddrives.com telling me what the man is carrying in the photograph on page 89 of the book and I’ll email you a free copy of ‘A Captivating Coastline’, our short guide to the best coastal walks on Tenerife.

A Day Going Native in Tenerife Part 2 – …and the Old

2009-05-12T02:10:00.000-07:00

15 minutes after I’d left the frantic tourist resorts I was in the little town of Arona. Arona is the administrative centre for some of the southern resorts, but its character couldn’t be more different; quiet and quaint as opposed to modern and brash. As I got out of the car an old lady smiled at me and bade me a ‘buenas tardes’. I went into the first tasca that I spotted. Inside a barman was cleaning glasses whilst his only two customers, a bearded pair who had the wiry grizzled look of Yukon gold prospectors, sat glued to the television.

“¿Hay bocadillos para llevar?” (do you have baguettes to takeaway)
“Of course.”
“What do you have?”
He pointed to a glass cabinet which was full of cheese and salami.
“Hmmm, I guess I’ll have cheese and salami then.”

As he made up the bocadillo on a loaf-of-bread sized roll I turned my attention to the TV. There was a football report about the Champion’s League final.
‘Barcelona V Manchester United will be a much better game than Chelsea V Manchester,” I commented to the gold prospectors and that was it, they were off and running.

For ten minutes we debated the outcome of the game.
“It’ll be 2-1 to Barcelona,” shouted the barman.
“Nah, we’ll score two,” I countered.
“Then Barça will score three,” laughed the barman as he slapped a slice of salami on the roll.

And so it went on with the prospectors telling me why they didn’t like Chelsea (too physical) and why they liked Liverpool (England’s Spanish team). I grabbed the bocadillo and headed for the door.
“Good luck for the final,” shouted the barman as a parting shot.
“Igualmente,” I replied with a wave.

I ate the bocadillo in the tranquil setting of a mirador (viewpoint) overlooking the lovely alpine-esque village of Vilaflor with its pumice coloured patchwork quilt of potato terraces then headed through the pine forest and into the Mount Teide crater.

The crater’s landscape is rather surreal at the best of times, but passing the wrecked prow of an Ancient Greek galley was the first indication that the scenery was even more mythical than usual. An amphitheatre of Ancient gods sitting nobly on their thrones amidst the volcanic terrain should have seemed out of place…but didn’t. The Clash of the Titans movie set was looking pretty impressive and as though it had been there forever. I spent some time watching the workmen put the final touches to the polystyrene pillars before heading for home via a wonderful drive through the dappled pines on the northern slopes accompanied by tantalising glimpses of the coast way below. The road twisted and turned, passing little agricultural communities where Shetland ponies played in the fields and the occasional thatched roof gave a glimpse of life in the past on these verdant slopes.

People continually try to categorize Tenerife as nothing more than an oversized tourist resort. You really don’t have to travel far from any of the resorts to discover that this perception really couldn’t be further from the truth.

A Day Going Native in Tenerife Part 1 – The New…

2009-05-11T06:00:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday I experienced one of those uniquely Tinerfeño days when the island showed me a few of its many faces.

I’d travelled south for a few meetings and by mid morning had already spent time in Los Cristianos and Playa de las América and was heading for my final meeting in Puerto Colón. Puerto Colón is a nightmare for parking, but I got lucky as I cruised along the narrow dead end road which runs parallel to the beach. Unsure as to whether I was illegally parked or not (there were no yellow lines, but a policeman was taking notes of number plates further along the beach) I spent as little time as possible dropping off a small supply of Going Native in Tenerife guidebooks with Ted, the owner of The Bookswap in the Marina in Puerto Colón.

Playa la Pinta at Puerto Colón is quite an attractive little beach, book-ended at one end by the marina and a mock fortress at the other, but strolling along the path above the beach I was swamped by PR guys asking if I fancied a pint. They did this even though I was dressed, inappropriately considering it was 26+ degrees, in a shirt, long black trousers and was carrying a folder - not exactly the get up of a holiday maker enjoying a day at the beach. I know these guys are only doing a job, but their attentions can be a bit overwhelming.

It was lunchtime by the time I left the Bookswap. I had planned to pick up a bocadillo at the first place that sold them, but the constant verbal assault by the PR guys was so claustrophobic I decided to stop at one of the villages on way home instead and hot footed it out of there.

The remake of Clash of the Titans is about to start filming in Tenerife and I wanted to have a look at the movie set in the Mount Teide crater, so whereas I’d taken the motorway to get to the south, I opted for the scenic route back to Puerto de la Cruz; up and over the middle of the island. Almost as soon as I left the TF1 motorway to head up the hill past Chayofa toward Arona, Vilaflor and then Mount Teide, I felt as though I'd arrived on a different island; one where the pace of life dropped a couple of gears...

Romería de San Marcos, Tegueste

2009-05-06T08:40:00.000-07:00

The quality isn't great and we forgot to turn the sound on, but hey it was our first go. This is just to give you a taste of what a traditional Romería looks like. This one is a bit different; you don't normally get boats.

Going Native in Tenerife – Fiesta of the Cross and Paragliding Rabbits

2009-05-05T08:52:00.000-07:00

We’ve been hardly able to keep up with what’s going on this week, but that’s May for you; the start of the serious fiesta season when there are concerts, fiestas and all sorts happening…and yet it is low season in terms of tourism.

We started the week at the Romería de San Marcos in the little town of Tegueste; overlooked by most tourist guides (not Going Native in Tenerife) it’s a little gem of a place, tucked away in pretty rural surroundings, yet it’s proximity to La Laguna and Santa Cruz means that it’s fiestas are lively affairs. This one was no different; a whirlwind of sights, sounds and smells and boats and goats.

Midweek we headed over to Playa de la Arena on the south west of Tenerife. The difference in atmosphere between a tourist resort in May and a traditional Canarian town was marked. Whereas Tegueste was buzzing, the south west resorts were whispering, but the weather, as normal, was better than just about anywhere else on the island.

However, as the south west has the most amount of sunshine on Tenerife and it was a bank holiday weekend, the influx of Canarian visitors from the north on Friday afternoon brought the area to life.

We had to go against the flow and head back north for the Flypa International Paragliding Festival and the celebrations for the Fiestas of the Cross on the 3rd May.

A stubborn bank of cloud meant that the Flypa festival wasn’t quite as spectacular as last year’s and the odd transformation of Playa Socorro from sandy to boulder strewn beach didn’t help with the photography, but as always it was fascinating to watch the air displays and madmen plummet from fellow para-glider's harnesses only to open their own chutes a few yards from the sea. The most surreal sight for me was the arrival of a paragliding rabbit; the festival’s mascot.

In the evening we headed to Los Realejos, another town ignored by many guidebooks and tourists, to wander the dimly lit old streets occasionally popping into locals' houses to murmur compliments about their lovingly decorated crosses. Although the crosses are what the fiesta is all about, the big event here is the firework competition between rival streets. We positioned ourselves in a prime position and waited to be wowed. I’d wondered if the ‘crisis’ might have had an effect on what is claimed to be Europe’s biggest display. I needn’t have worried. The show was, if anything, bigger than last year’s; it was certainly better. A beautifully clear night sky provided the perfect backdrop for atom bomb sized pyrotechnic after pyrotechnic; some so explosive that I swear I felt the shock wave pull at my face and clothes.
For a couple of hours we stood transfixed as the rival streets battled it out in dramatic fashion in the sky and neighbours shouted good natured abuse at rival displays.

It was a week which illustrated the paradox that is Tenerife. Ask your average tourist what their impression of the island was during the last week and they’ll probably reply ‘quiet with nothing much happening.’ Ask a Canarian and you’ll get a completely different answer.

A Great Little Restaurant on Tenerife – But Where is it?

2009-04-21T04:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday someone left a flyer for the Tasca La Marquesa restaurant under the windscreen wiper of my car. It sounds great. There’s a decent selection of tapas including chipirones (€2.50) and gambas al ajillo (€3.90); the set menu of three courses is only €7.90; a bottle of dorada is €1.20 and spirits with a mixer are €3; there’s even live music.

The only problem is I hadn’t a clue where it was. I scoured the flyer, but they omitted to include an address. There was a little street map with a big arrow pointing to the restaurant, but apart from the church and post office being shown there was nothing to identify its actual location.

Initially I thought that the restaurant was in Puerto de la Cruz. That’s where I picked up the flyer, so that assumption seemed reasonable, except that the position of the post office in relation to the church on the map made that impossible. I was baffled.

You might think that this was just an oversight, but it happens all the time. There is advert after advert on Canarian TV showing great looking food being served in atmospheric restaurants…but half of the time they fail to tell you where. I’ve seen numerous posters advertising bands, concerts, exhibitions and all sorts of things; the posters are packed with loads of juicy info, except the location of the event.

It seems basic common sense to me to include an address in publicity material, but sometimes it seems that’s a concept which hasn’t quite caught on here. There’s almost an assumption that everybody knows where everything is and what’s happening. It’s one of the reasons we’ve included a fiesta guide in Going Native in Tenerife with tips about where, when and what to expect. We missed lots of fiestas when we first moved here due to a lack of detailed information. Now we generally know what’s happening and when, but only because we’ve been and seen it for ourselves.

It’s a bizarre little characteristic which can make life frustrating for visitors and even ex-pat residents.

I eventually worked out the restaurant’s location, but only because I know the town well enough to have been able figure it out; it’s in La Orotava…I think.

Tenerife – Barren Rock or Garden Paradise?

2009-04-06T04:25:00.000-07:00

There are still some people who consider Tenerife as little more than a hot barren rock in the Atlantic; some of these have even visited the island, but that says more about them than it does about Tenerife.
I’ve never had much time for people who spend their time between beach and bar and then complain that there’s not much to the place they’ve just visited.

Recently I was interested to read comments from British residents on Tenerife talking about things they missed about the UK. Two of the things quoted were snow and the advent of spring when flowers transformed the countryside. Seems reasonable enough.

It’s probably fair to say that Tenerife’s main attraction for the last forty years has been the weather. The guarantee of sunshine at any time of the year and winter temperatures which can be higher than some European country’s summer ones are an irresistible draw. But with this comes a perception, even amongst some ex-pat residents, that seasons here don’t vary much…and generally speaking we Brits like the variety that comes with each changing season (even though we do moan about them on occasion).
Once again, like so many things relating to Tenerife, perception and reality isn’t necessarily exactly the same thing.

Only a few weeks ago we were knee deep in snow in the middle of Las Cañadas at the base of Mount Teide (okay, admittedly the sun was shining and it was lovely and warm); a couple of weeks later we were walking in the hills, trekking along cobbled paths bordered by the most wonderful display of rainbow coloured wild flowers heralding the arrival of spring.

It’s true that parts of Tenerife are arid and relatively barren, but it’s also true that an equal part of it is as lush as the Amazon rainforest and as green as an English meadow.

There’s a reason why the island was believed to be the Garden of Hespérides, but you’ll have to ‘Go Native’ to discover it for yourself.

Reviews of 'Going Native in Tenerife'

2009-03-30T02:38:00.000-07:00

"Going Native in Tenerife" is the only guide book you will ever need for a real insight into everything there is to know about the island...
The Restaurant recommendations are spot on and we enjoyed many a wonderful meal of real Tinerfeno food.
If you love Tenerife, as we do, but are tired of the usual places, buy this book, you won't be disappointed."

Customer Review on Amazon UK

Tenerife might be a Spanish province, but are the islanders Spanish?

2009-03-30T02:28:00.001-07:00

At the end of last week a lightning strike scored a direct hit on an electrical substation and the electricity supply for the whole island was kaput, or as one news report put it “Tenerife was plunged into darkness” to which one wit replied:

“…JODER, EL SOL SE HA APAGADO TAMBIÉN?” (Loosely translated and toning down the joder - ‘What the heck...the sun’s been turned off as well?’

The ‘luz’ (electricity) came back on after about 5 hours and I was able to find out on the web what exactly had happened.

Comments accompanying Canarian news websites were in some cases more interesting than the reports themselves and were classic examples of the fact that the inhabitants of Tenerife generally refer to themselves as Canarios or Tinerfeños rather than Spanish.

On one news site some comments veered away from the problems with the ‘luz’ and became more of a slanging match between islanders and mainlanders with the words ‘godos’ (a derogatory term used for mainlanders – an implication that they’re barbarians) and ‘paleto’ (the comeback – meaning bumpkins) being bandied about. It’s not uncommon to find this sort of dialogue on web debates.

The reason I mention all this is that in 'Going Native in Tenerife' we have a section about the Tinerfeño people and their quirks which touches on the Spanish/Canario relationship.

I suppose that there’s no surprise that islanders see themselves as quite different from the Spanish, given the distance of the Canary Islands from the mother land combined with their history.

A Canarian friend was telling me recently about his experiences during national service. He regularly got into trouble for mischief making and occasionally found himself thrown in the slammer for a couple of days as punishment. One of his crimes was his stubborn refusal to salute the Spanish flag. When pulled up about this by his sergeant, he explained:

“I’m not saluting that; it’s not my flag,”

Bad enough, but the accompanying spit on the ground to emphasise his assertion sealed his fate and resulted in another stay at the hotel with the bars on the doors. It didn’t stop him from doing it again though.

The Canary Islands might be Spanish but as for their inhabitants, that’s another matter…except when the national Spanish football team are playing.

Going Native in Tenerife – Tenerife Beaches

2009-03-17T08:20:00.000-07:00

When we first visited Tenerife to check out if it was a place we could live, an ex-pat resident commented on the fact that I was wearing shorts. It identified me as a tourist, 'because locals didn’t wear shorts,' she explained.

It turned out this wasn’t in the slightest bit true. The Canarians do wear shorts in the summer and what’s more they do almost exactly the same things that visitors do; when it’s hot they go to the beach. The town and city section of ‘Going Native in Tenerife’ therefore includes information about the best beaches around the island. Whist Tenerife doesn’t have Seychelles type beaches, it does have a great selection of crescent shape beaches and small coves dotted around its coastline. Around the resorts, beaches tend to be man-made with imported sand and rows of sunbeds underneath thatched umbrellas and that suits many people.

Alternatively, there are also many wild coves, volcanic black sand playas, secluded nudist beaches and long sweeping bays of naturally pale gold sand. Some of these are only a hop, skip and a jump away from the main southern tourist resorts and ideally placed for those who like to go native and seek out beaches that are a bit more as nature intended. The quiet beach in the picture is barely 20 minutes from Playa de las Américas.

Reviews of Going Native in Tenerife

2009-03-17T04:55:00.000-07:00

“Even after living here myself for many years, I have only scratched the surface of the many facets of Tenerife explored by this writer duo. Each time I dip into the book I find a new historical fact, funny comment or hidden gem about Tenerife that I had not known. I especially like the book's gently humorous tone which seems to me to demonstrate the writers' deep affection for the island.”

Customer Review - Amazon UK

Going Native in Tenerife – Is Tenerife just Britain with sunshine?

2009-03-16T09:55:00.000-07:00

There was an article in The Daily Mirror at the end of last year where the writer mentioned that she had avoided visiting Tenerife because she had believed:

“…the food is British, the beer is British, and the people are all, largely, British.”

She was, of course, converted into thinking differently otherwise she wouldn’t have written the article. It’s a common stereotype of Tenerife and one which we were guilty of holding as well.

We made a decision to move to Puerto de la Cruz after staying in the town for just three days. Actually we made the decision after about an hour, but initially beer, sunshine and green parrots had completely charmed us. However after three days we’d seen enough to convince us that our initial judgement was sound and every Sunday when I walk through the old town, I still get the same buzz that I felt on that first visit 6 years ago.

It starts when I pass the little greengrocers whose wooden crates piled high with fennel bulbs, tiny papas negras potatoes and plump aubergines are strewn across the pavement. At the café next door, the patrons sitting in wicker chairs sipping café cortados or glasses of vino tinto are as stylish as the art deco architecture of the building they’re decorating with their presence; the women in bug-eyed sunglasses and flowing jet black hair wearing Stradivarius’ latest fashions; the men wearing simple jeans and polo shirts, looking equally cool.

Opposite even more stylish Canarios, dressed as though they’ve stepped off a catwalk, spill out of the little 17th century church followed by a bride and groom. It’s the perfect spot for a wedding. The scent of orange blossom fills the air and the trickle of water from the jade coloured swan fountain compliments the sound of someone strumming a Spanish guitar on the terrace of a hotel which has been welcoming travellers since the eighteen hundreds.

I continue along the pedestrian walkway. On one side are tulip trees with scarlet flowers, on the other living statues of a geisha girl and a golden fairy, performing little scenes with graceful movements every time someone drops a few cents into the bowl in front of them.

The narrow street is teeming with domingueros, people from the surrounding valley who descend on Puerto to enjoy the Spanish tradition of ‘dar un paseo’ on Sundays, and the main plaza is alive with the sound of laughter and chatter from the pavement cafes around its perimeter. In the centre of the plaza kids chase each other around the yam filled pool whilst their abuelas watch them from the shade of the Indian laurels. I wander past a striped kiosk selling beehive shaped rolls of candy floss on a stick down to the harbour and sit on the wall beside the charming sculpture of the fishwife who looks as though she’s just bought some pulpo from one of the small fishing boats with Greek blue hulls. The setting sun has turned the ochre walls of the old customs house overlooking the harbour golden and the aroma of grilled cherne and sardines, wafting from a ramshackle harbour side hut whose selection of seafood is like a who’s who of the fish world, is almost too much to resist.

Is Tenerife Britain with sunshine? Do I really need to answer that?

Going Native in Tenerife – The Two Tenerife’s

2009-03-11T08:59:00.000-07:00

An important piece of information which everyone should know when thinking about visiting Tenerife is that there are actually two Tenerifes.

It’s a subject which I bring up time and time again mainly because:
a) I feel strongly about it and
b) a lot of potential visitors aren’t aware of this fact – actually some residents aren’t aware of it.

Tenerife No1 is the Tenerife that most English speaking people know about and is the one that was built specifically to meet the needs of the growing tourist industry back in the 70s and which has evolved into a popular relocation destination for ex-pats. Tenerife No2 is basically everywhere else outside of that and is the Tenerife where most Canarios live.

Tenerife No1 attracts millions of visitors a year because it supplies exactly what many people are looking for when they book a holiday, but its image is such other potential visitors wouldn’t go near it with a barge pole. This is partly down to outdated TV programmes, but also partly down to the fact that resorts like Playa de las Américas don’t tick the boxes of people who want to experience a different culture as much as warm rays on their sun deprived skin. These are the people we are aiming to convince, through our website, blogs and guidebooks such as ‘Going Native in Tenerife’ and ‘Real Tenerife Island Drives’ that there's much more to Tenerife than they might think.

To illustrate what I’m talking about let me tell you about a couple of recent examples:

The first involved a woman who was planning to visit Tenerife. Instead of opting for the resorts she had chosen to spend a few days in a hill town in the south followed by a few days in the north of the island. She was hoping that she and her son would be able to practice their Spanish whilst they were on the island. However, a work colleague whose parents actually lived in Tenerife No1 told her that they wouldn’t get much practice speaking Spanish on Tenerife as everyone spoke English.
It was nonsense advice and we reassured the woman that the opposite was true. Outside of the tourist resorts English is hardly spoken at all. Sure enough within a couple of days she was back asking for help with a translation of an email she’d received from the rural hotel she was trying to book. Not only was the email in Spanish, it was almost incomprehensible Spanish as it wasn’t even grammatically correct. It was written exactly the way some locals speak here – with some key consonants being left out.
This was her introduction to Tenerife No2 and the parents of the person who had given the initial advice clearly didn’t even know it existed even though they lived in Tenerife.

The second example involves Carnaval. Throughout February it is the biggest thing happening on Tenerife No2. Carnaval in Santa Cruz and Puerto de la Cruz takes place at the same time and businesses more or less grind to a halt during this time as workers succumb to the exhilarating, but exhausting beast. It’s a survival test, albeit a fun one and, if you live in the north of Tenerife, almost impossible to ignore.

I mention it because I’m a member of the community website, ‘Tenerife Forum’. Forums like this and the similarly named ‘The Tenerife Forum’ are incredibly useful resources for people visiting, or moving to Tenerife, especially in relation to the south and are a good place for people to make friends. However during carnaval week, although there were hundreds of postings on the forum, I could have counted the ones which made any reference to carnaval on the fingers of one hand. In fact I could have counted them on the fingers of the hand of my old physics teacher who had lost a couple of digits due to some of his experiments going seriously wrong.

So my point is that millions of people already know and love (or loathe) Tenerife No1 one, but much of Tenerife No2, precisely because it remains firmly Canarian in culture, is still relatively ignored.

And that’s Tenerife. You can have your modern resorts, but equally well you can have quaint villages and historic towns. You can stay in places where the food and the language is familiar, or you can immerse yourself in a culture which has hardly changed in centuries and you have to ask waiters in restaurants what exactly they’ve placed in front of you (in Spanish).

Ultimately, between them the two Tenerifes can provide something to suit the needs of just about anyone…providing they’ve got the right guidebook of course.

Reviews of 'Going Native in Tenerife'

2009-03-11T08:53:00.000-07:00

"Some 200 pages will lead you, inform you, and warn you, but always entertain you, as you discover there is so much more to Tenerife than the glossy postcard and brochure versions. All the basic facts you need are here, from the history, geography and culture of the island but they are complimented by practical tips and humorous anecdotes from other long term residents. Going Native is as relevant to a party seeking holiday maker as it is to a dedicated explorer looking to settle in a quiet back water."

Colin Kirby - Writer

Going Native at Tenerife Carnaval 'Photo of the Day' #7

2009-03-02T02:37:00.001-08:00

It's a day late thanks to the demands of an excellent and very, very late last night of Carnaval. We've had beauty queens, men dressed as women, giant sardines and girls with not a lot of clothes on, so let's round off these photos of Carnaval 2009 with a cute entry. The Coso Apoteosis (closing parade) was a photographer's dream and the weather was perfect for bringing out the flamboyant colours of the costumes. There were some absolutely wonderful sights to see, but I particularly liked this shot of this beautiful little girl.

Find out more about how to 'Go Native' at Carnaval and other fiestas on Tenerife in 'Going Native in Tenerife'.

Going Native at Tenerife Carnaval 'Photo of the Day' #6

2009-02-28T06:25:00.001-08:00

The 'Mascarita Ponte Tacón' (high heels marathon) in Puerto de la Cruz is always good for a laugh and some outrageous photos. In truth I've got bag loads of great ones to chose from this year; most of them likely to offend somebody or other. However, I felt this 'young lady' personified what this mad part of carnaval is all about.

She could have at least waxed first.

Find out more about how to 'Go Native' at Carnaval and other fiestas on Tenerife in 'Going Native in Tenerife'.

Going Native at Tenerife Carnaval 'Photo of the Day' #5

2009-02-27T07:19:00.000-08:00

Thursday night's a quiet night at Carnaval in Puerto de la Cruz. It gives everyone a chance to recover a bit before the big closing weekend. The best food stall in the world keeps the few die hards who are about fed and watered with juggernaut sized montaditos, topped with neat rows of chorizos, tortilla, Italian peppers etc and glasses of cerveza and vino tinto.

At various points, the stall can resemble one of the bars in the Star Wars movies with some very, very strange looking clientele.

Tomorrow it's the turn of the 'big girls'.

Find out more about how to 'Go Native' at Carnaval and other fiestas on Tenerife in 'Going Native in Tenerife'.

Going Native at Tenerife Carnaval 'Photo of the Day' #4

2009-02-26T08:49:00.000-08:00

When a giant sardine with long blond hair and fluttering false eyelashes starts bearing down on you it means one of two things - it's time to give up the alcohol, or it's the surreal Burial of the Sardine which is a major part of Carnaval across Tenerife.

The sardine is one of the less surreal aspects of the event, but good taste convinced me to go with this photo and not one of the merry 'widows'.

Find out more about how to 'Go Native' at Carnaval and other fiestas on Tenerife in 'Going Native in Tenerife'.

Going Native at Tenerife Carnaval 'Photo of the Day' #3

2009-02-25T06:42:00.000-08:00

Puerto de la Cruz' delayed opening parade meant that there weren't as many groups participating as in past years, however there was still enough glitz, glamour, flamboyant costumes and pearly white smiles to keep the onlookers happy.

There is no such thing as being overdressed...or indeed underdressed at Carnaval.

Find out more about how to 'Go Native' at Carnaval and other fiestas on Tenerife in 'Going Native in Tenerife'.

Going Native at Tenerife Carnaval, 'Photo of the Day' #2

2009-02-24T02:42:00.000-08:00

During Carnaval week, there are nightly parties in the streets around Plaza del Charco. By 1 a.m. most tourists have left, but that's when the party is only starting to warm up.

Spot how many people aren't in Fancy dress costume.

Find out more about how to 'Go Native' at Carnaval and other fiestas on Tenerife in 'Going Native in Tenerife'.

Going Native at Tenerife Carnaval 'Photo of the Day' #1

2009-02-23T08:30:00.000-08:00

Above is our 1st 'Going Native in Tenerife' Carnaval photo of the day (well it was from two days ago, but we were too busy 'going native' at the beginning of the Carnaval celebrations in Puerto de la Cruz to post it earlier). The girl with the smile as radiant as her costume, titled Gota a gota, is Elsa Eichner, the Carnaval Queen for Puerto de la Cruz 2009.

But the question is, can you pick her out from the line-up in the previous blog?

Find out more about how to 'Go Native' at Carnaval and other fiestas on Tenerife in 'Going Native in Tenerife'.

Visiting Tenerife soon? Don’t miss Carnaval 2009

2009-02-12T03:45:00.000-08:00

You can tell when Carnaval is just around the corner, the TV screen is filled nightly with Tenerife’s version of the Diddy Men; 20 to 50-strong singing groups in fantastic baggy-trousered and be-hatted costumes with face paint jobs that Chipperfield’s Circus would kill for, belting out tuneless political satire and blowing on toy trumpets.

For the Tinerfeños, this passes as prized family entertainment, for which they actually buy tickets to sit in a windy plaza and spectate until the early hours of the morning giving levels of applause that tribute acts on the south coast can only dream of.
The ‘Murgas’, as they’re known, are definitely an acquired taste, but luckily, they’re the only aspect of Carnaval that is.

Having a much wider appeal altogether is the whole process of electing the Carnaval Queens for the coming year.
If Julia Morley hasn’t already done so, she should seriously consider retiring to Tenerife where the whole concept of beauty pageants is alive and well and where they hold as many male beauty contests as female ones, although I suspect feminists would argue that falls into the ‘two wrongs’ category.

Political correctness aside, last Sunday saw the unveiling (not literally) of the candidates for Puerto de la Cruz 2009 Carnaval Queen titles, including the junior category.
The little girls strode purposefully up and down the stage in their Tres Reyes outfits with one hand on a hip, waving to the audience. The eight Carnaval Queen hopefuls then sashayed their way across the stage in glittering, backless evening dresses showing all the oblivion to the night’s chill that is a pre-requisite for this job.

There was much dancing to African drums, this year’s theme being ‘Tribes of Africa’ and a guest appearance by local born celebrity dancer and choreographer Rafa Mendés whose CV includes choreographing such luminaries as Madonna, Robbie Williams, Kylie Minogue, Blue and Take That.

And so the buzz that is Carnaval begins. Over the next couple of weeks that buzz will grow and crescendo before bursting onto the streets in full-on party mode and if you’re planning to be on the island, the parades are a must-see.

Carnaval 2009 takes place from the 20th to the 27th February in Santa Cruz and from 21st to 28th February in Puerto de la Cruz.

Carnaval might be the biggest event in the fiesta calendar, but it certainly isn’t the only island fiesta; Going Native in Tenerife has a calendar of all Tenerife’s main fiestas and tells you what to expect and how to get the best from them.
Adding a touch of local colour and celebration to your time on Tenerife can make the difference between a good holiday and a great one.
Don’t miss out.

No pain, no gain

2009-02-03T09:46:00.000-08:00

“90 mins” says the sign that shows the start of the route from the troglodyte settlement of Chinamada to the coastal resort of Punta del Hidalgo.

Spread across the northeast tip of Tenerife, the Anaga Mountains are virtually untouched by the tourism development of the last fifty years. They present an unforgiving terrain where for centuries farmers have worked narrow terraces carved into the side of sheer ravines and trodden a myriad of paths to take their produce to market and to export.
Chinamada to Punta del Hidalgo is one such path and last week, we finally got round to hiking it.

With a 620 metre difference between the coast and Chinamada, we opted to do the walk from coast to mountain rather than the other way round, leaving a nice, leisurely down hill to end the day.

The weather was perfect for hiking; intense blue sky, not a cloud to be seen but a fresh, brisk breeze. As we wondered along the coastal path by the lighthouse in Punta del Hidalgo with the ozone and fixed grins on our faces, Jack took photos of the white horses riding atop the fearsome waves.
Through a meandering stream at the bottom of the barranco, over a wooden footbridge – it was idyllic and I mentally compiled a list of all the friends we’d do the walk with when they next visited.

Soon we began climbing and the terrain became more demanding. The path narrowed and looped around overhangs in the barranco wall; it skirted deep caves set into the ancient monoliths and more and more it rose in sheer stairs worn smooth by weather and the years. As we climbed, sweat dripped off the ends of my hair and trickled down my neck and my list of friends to bring with us next time we came diminished rapidly.

500 sheer metres below us, a small stream on the barranco floor glistened in the sun and across the gaping divide the little white houses of Batán clung to their precipitous hold on the cliffside. At eye level kestrels rode the air currents before swooping to the barranco floor, then rising, circling and repeating the manoeuvre.

Each time we reached a new turn in the trail we looked for the landmark mirador to which we’d walked from Chinamada and which we knew heralded our imminent arrival at our destination. But turn after turn, it remained illusive.

After two and a quarter gruelling hours the path began its steepest ascent yet, along a narrow ridge with loose scree and then up sheer steps, each one a thigh crunching, gargantuan effort. A careful inch around a narrow precipice and there it was – the familiar mirador.

Two and a half sweaty, energy sapping hours after we left Punta del Hidalgo we arrived in Chinamada at the sign that says “90 mins”, and which, had it not been very securely fastened to the wall, would now be lying at the bottom of the Batán Barranco.

We ate our lunch at the Mirador Aguaide perched on an outcrop above the northern tip of Tenerife and watched the ant-sized guided walking groups we’d passed on the way up as they negotiated the steep final ridge. I could have stayed there for hours, at the edge of the world, just us and the kestrels.

On the way back down we bitched about the inaccuracy of hiking signposts on the island and how the only way you could do that journey in 90 minutes would be if you had a parachute attached to your back.
In fact, we bitched for the whole hour and three quarters that it took us to get back to Punta del Hidalgo…!

Going Native in Tenerife – Shhh… don’t tell anyone about it.

2009-01-26T04:50:00.000-08:00

Last year, just as we were about to start writing ‘Going Native in Tenerife’, we were visited by a friend who’d never stayed in Tenerife before. Normally she sticks to visiting the neighbouring island of La Gomera.

Like many discerning travellers, she considered La Gomera as more unspoilt than its allegedly brasher and over-developed bigger neighbour.

So we were keen to show her the Tenerife that we knew; the Tenerife which we were about to write about in ‘Going Native in Tenerife.’

A blissful week was spent wandering around the charming Casas de los Balcones in Tenerife’s most noble township of La Orotava, heading away from the crowds and deep into the lunar landscape of the crater around Mount Teide’s base, chilling out listening to live bands at a traditional fiesta on the beach in celebration of Midsummer’s day, watching goats and horses being dragged and ridden into the sea as part of a tradition which pre-dates the conquest of the island, eating fish which looked like a parrot, strolling through banana plantations to beautiful quiet coves and delving deep into ancient laurisilva forests and through a village where people still live in caves to stand at a mirador overlooking an epic landscape which looks as though it belongs in the South American jungle.

It wasn’t until the end of the week, that we told her that we’d just been commissioned to write a guidebook for Tenerife which was going to include the sort of things we’d done and places we visited during her stay (and obviously, much, much more). What was her response?

She told us that she wasn’t sure it was such a good idea to write a book which spread the word about the real face of Tenerife…because if more people knew about the charming, cultural, historic, picturesque and spectacular Tenerife which exists outside the resorts, then the island might really be spoiled.

So, any discerning traveller out there interested in finding out what Tenerife is actually like and seeking to enjoy similar experiences as our friend should buy ‘Going Native in Tenerife’, but please, please don’t tell anyone about it, we don’t want to ruin this gem of an island.

Going Native at Fiestas on Tenerife

2009-01-19T02:56:00.000-08:00

It’ll surprise no-one when I say that Tenerife is a party island. However I don’t mean because of Playa de Las Américas with its clubs and cabaret bars where the likes of Tina Turner and Rod Stewart never grow old thanks to a continuous stream of sound-alikes (Ironically it’s all becoming a bit surreal as the real Rod is due to play on Tenerife in May and Joe Cawley has heard that Tina Turner amongst others may follow suite).

I’m referring to the seemingly never ending succession of parties which take place in the towns and villages throughout the year…the fiestas.

There are hundreds of these; even the smallest town will celebrate any number of them over the course of a year. One municipality, Los Realejos, claims that their 80 plus fiestas are more than anywhere else in Spain.

Every municipality likes to be that little bit different from their neighbours, so as well as the traditional romerías (harvest type processions) you get weird and wonderful affairs that involve half drowning goats, mass midnight bathing, insulting giant hearts, pirates attacking landlocked towns on boats on wheels, cross dressing widows mourning a giant sardine and firework battles between opposing streets to name but a few. Many of these wonderful fiestas take place completely off the radar screen of the average tourist.

Some of the local authorities on Tenerife aren’t the greatest at promoting their fiestas, especially outside the confines of each municipality. There’s a sort of philosophy that everybody knows what’s going on; fiestas happen at pretty much the same time every year after all. As a result, although all the locals know what’s happening and when, visitors can often be left in the dark.

When we first moved to Tenerife we constantly missed the best bits of local fiestas because of this, or found ourselves standing on the fringes looking enviously at the merrymaking in front of our eyes wishing we could be part of it.
What we’ve learned the hard way over the last five years has gone into ‘Going Native in Tenerife’ so that others don’t miss out.

Every decent guidebook lists the ‘must see’ fiestas on Tenerife. ‘Going Native in Tenerife’ is no different in this respect, but where it does differ is that we’ve actually been to all the fiestas listed and have included tips about how to get the most enjoyment out of each.
Most books will advise where visitors can watch fiestas. ‘Going Native in Tenerife’ helps visitors become part of them.

There’s a world of difference

Going Native in Tenerife – What, no room for postres?

2009-01-15T07:22:00.000-08:00

Eagle-eyed readers, or more likely those of you with a sweet tooth may notice an omission from the food and drink section and the recommended restaurants in the town and city guide section of 'Going Native in Tenerife' – there’s very little mention of local postres (desserts).

This is mainly because we don’t think that Tenerife does postres particularly well. If you’re a fan of school dinner type puds from the 60s and 70s you might disagree and I know our friend Pamela at Secret Tenerife has a liking for them, but milky and rice based desserts just don’t ring our bell, so we tended to concentrate on gastronomic areas where we felt the island’s cuisine was more mouth watering.

However, just in case you think you might be about to miss out on some culinary delights here are a few examples of the kind of local postres you’re likely to find on most traditional menus.

Arroz con leche (milky rice pudding)

Rice boiled in milk and flavoured with cinnamon, sugar and lemon rind.

Leche asada (roast milk)

Whisked eggs, milk, lemon rind, cinnamon, sugar and condensed milk baked in the oven until set.

By this point you may have noticed certain similarities in the ingredients.

Quesedilla (cheesecake – but not the type you might be expecting)

Grated soft cheese, flour, sugar, eggs, cinnamon, aniseed and lemon rind mixed together to a doughy consistency and baked in the oven.

Bienmesabe (Almond dessert)

Ground almonds, sugar, water, egg yolks, cinnamon and, of course, lemon rind. Heated and mixed to a syrupy consistency and served cold.

See what I mean?

Going Native in Tenerife – The Tenerife of Explorers and Poets

2009-01-08T05:10:00.000-08:00

Word count – it’s the writer’s version of a crucifix to a vampire. You’ve got all these wonderful ideas and fascinating snippets of information and you want to share it all with the world, but you’ve got the dreaded word count, so how do you decide what to include and what not to include?

There are 31 municipalities on Tenerife, most with at least one interesting town, many with more. However, no guide book to Tenerife, or any location for that matter, unless it is encyclopaedic in size, can include every single little town and village. Or if it tried, there would only be a few lines on each location and that wouldn’t really make it of much use to man (or in these enlightened times, woman) nor beast.

Clearly then, the thing to do is to opt for the most interesting places – but then with an island as famous, or infamous, as Tenerife doesn’t everybody already know the most interesting places.

Actually most don’t.

When most people think of Tenerife, the name Playa de Las Américas will probably spring to mind. More recently Costa Adeje has become a name bandied about by the media as evidence of the changing face of Tenerife. But the most well known places are not necessarily the most interesting.

In what has been pretty much a thirty year trend to promote Tenerife as a vision of a paradise based on year round sunshine, tour operators and, to some extent, the media continually overlook the Tenerife where the island’s traditional and cultural heart beats the strongest.

Take the north coast. For centuries every explorer, writer and scientist worth his/ or her salt travelled by stagecoach from Santa Cruz to Tenerife’s most sophisticated town, La Orotava via charming little town's and villages. En route many stopped to visit historical or important geographical landmarks and then wrote about them in their journals. And yet I have read plenty of guidebooks which completely overlook these towns in favour of giving more page space to Playa de Las Américas.
Now you can’t write a travel guide about Tenerife without mentioning PDLA, but everybody and their dog knows something about it, so it’s pointless to waste too many pages telling people what they already know.

With Going Native in Tenerifewe felt it was a great opportunity to also remind visitors of the places which inspired writers, artists, poets and explorers; places which, because of changing trends, are now very much now away from the main tourist trail, but still boast some of the most spectacular scenery and charming historic centres on an island which despite it’s mass popularity is still very, very much a secret.

So if we’ve dropped a small, purpose built resort built twenty years ago on the south coast in favour of a town where the likes of Sir Richard Burton was moved to wax lyrical, then we make no apologies for it. There’s a fascinating island out there, let us share it with you.

Getting the right image for Tenerife

2009-01-03T04:08:00.000-08:00

35 in-depth reviews of towns and villages across the island as well as its history, culture, traditions, food and drink. Then there’s the language, the climate, the extensive calendar of fiestas including where and when to best view them and not least, suggested itineraries for quick visits, short stays, temporary residence and a whole lifetime of enjoying the best of what Tenerife has to offer. 200 pages of a labour of love, all written with insight and passion and all ground to a near standstill when it came to producing…the authors’ cover photo.

We’d always known it would be needed and we’d had three whole months in which to take it but somehow it always got pushed to the back of the priority list. We’d had endless discussions about it; where should we take it, what should we wear, how should we pose? And nothing we came up with seemed to be ‘just right’. We even had a trial photo shoot in the cactus garden behind Playa Jardín with the occasional curious holidaymaker for an audience and in a banana plantation at San Juan de la Rambla with Jack’s mum as the photographer but it simply wasn’t what we were looking for.
Then the final deadline arrived and we had to face the facts; short of superimposing Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie onto our garden steps, this photo was never going to do justice to our own self image and we might as well just bite the bullet and take the photo.

They say a picture paints a thousand words and that may well be so, but the 40,000 words in ‘Going Native in Tenerife’ speak louder and have far more interesting things to say. Come to think of it, they paint just the right image for Tenerife.

Going Native – Will the real Tenerife please stand up?

2008-12-20T04:09:00.000-08:00

As a potential holiday destination, Tenerife is somewhat of a paradox. Millions of Brits choose it year after year because of its image and even millions more look down their noses at it for the same reason.

It’s very easy to construct a picture of Tenerife which, although not technically inaccurate, is far from being representative of most of the island.

Community websites like TripAdvisor, Holiday Watchdog and the Tenerife based Tenerife Forum offer really useful advice to visitors and, in Tenerife Forum’s case, expat residents. However, here’s a little task. Find a map of Tenerife and draw a circle around the areas which the majority of posts focus on (usually along the coast from Costa Adeje up to Costa del Silencio and occasionally El Médano) and then look at how much of Tenerife lies outside the circle – it might come as something of a surprise.

The area which makes up the popular southern holiday resorts could probably fit into a couple of barrancos (ravines) in the remote Anaga Mountains at the north east end of Tenerife.
And yet this tiny area in geographic terms tends to hog the spotlight in relation to the island’s image in the UK. Whether it be an image of a warm and sunny version of Britain abroad populated by beer bellied lager louts, or the more acceptable shiny ‘new face of Tenerife’ with its coastline of plush, 5 star hotels.

It’s one of the reasons we’re passionate about projects like Going Native in Tenerife which covers all areas of Tenerife, especially what we call the real Tenerife; the place where Tinerfeños (natives of Tenerife) have lived and developed a fascinating culture for over five centuries.

There’s a very different island out there than people realise and the great thing is, because of the way that Tenerife has been portrayed in the media during the last 30 years, a lot of it is still waiting to be discovered.

Going Native in Tenerife – will you like the same things we like?

2008-12-18T04:59:00.000-08:00

One of the questions that some people might ask when looking for a travel guidebook will be, ‘will it include the sort of things that I like to do and see?”

Obviously that’s a very subjective question as many of us like to see and do different things. When Judith Chalmers used to present ITV’s ‘Wish You Were Here’, I always thought she spent far too much time in old churches and museums. Don’t get me wrong I like old churches and museums but I also like a lot of other things as well.

Being brought up on a Scottish Island, I have an instinctive love of beautiful scenery and love exploring the countryside; the wilder the better. For most of my adult life I worked in Manchester and was lucky enough to be there at a time when it changed from being tired and run down to becoming one of the UK’s most vibrant and beautiful cities; so I guess what I’m saying is that I love cities too; their energy, architecture and culture. I enjoy wandering about art galleries, museums and gardens. However I equally enjoy messing about in theme parks, swimming in azure seas and chilling on beautiful beaches.

Being a foodie, eating is more than a necessity; it’s a pleasurable hobby (hence the need for the swimming and long hikes). However although I positively salivate at a beautifully presented cordon bleu meal in a plush restaurant, or a simply cooked, but delicious fish straight from the fishermen’s boat in a harbour-side restaurant, I wouldn’t turn my nose up at a home made beefburger full of fresh herbs (incidentally La Oficina in La Villa in La Orotava makes as good a burger as I’ve tasted on Tenerife and it’s a steal at €2.50).

Sometimes I reckon you can’t beat a fine wine in a stylish pavement café as the sun goes down…until I’m quaffing mojitos in a lively Cuban bar with pumping Latino music watching the beautiful people salsa sexily around me till the early hours.

At other times I revel in the thrill of the energetic fiestas which seem to take place every month with street parties filled with smiling people in traditional costume/fancy dress/DJs and cocktail dresses that go on till dawn. But then again it’s hard to beat the wave of shared emotion felt when someone starts singing ‘Ave Maria’ during traditional festivals, or brotherhoods in masked outfits silently march through the streets during Easter processions in La Laguna.

I could go on, but I suppose the point is this, if you’re looking for a diverse guide to Tenerife and you enjoy any, some, or all of the above things I’ve mentioned, Going Native in Tenerife should be just the guidebook you’re looking for.

Going Native in Tenerife – The front cover

2008-12-16T03:11:00.001-08:00

It’s funny; you think that once you’ve written the text for a book that all the hard work’s done – wrong. Then comes the first proof reading and the re-checking of phone numbers, websites addresses, facts and figures etc and choosing potential photographs which illustrate the Tenerife that Going Native in Tenerife wants people to know about, not always the Tenerife which tour operators necessarily want to push.

To be honest, this part isn’t hard work, but it is time consuming especially when you’ve got a catalogue of thousands of photographs built up over the last few years to choose from. Part of this job involved identifying potential covers for the book; Debbie Jenkins and Joe Gregory’s (editors and publishers at NativeSpain and bookshaker) main criteria was to choose some which had people in them.

No problem, we had loads from various fiestas which perfectly illustrated the real Tenerife which most residents know. We posted a selection onto flickr and waited to see which Joe would pick; whether it would be our favourite.

However, Joe completely surprised us by choosing a photo in my flickr collection which we hadn’t included, but as soon as we saw which one he’d chosen we knew he’d hit the nail right on the head in capturing the essence of Tenerife.
It was taken at a traditional fiesta and to me represents what Tenerife is all about; a wonderful climate and a serious pride in maintaining age-old traditions whilst enjoying life to the fullest at the same time.

If you can identify where the photo was taken and what the event is…well you won’t win any prize, except the kudos of being somebody who knows the real Tenerife

Going Native in Tenerife – a different perspective

2008-12-16T02:36:00.000-08:00

One of the many ‘different from the usual guidebook’ features of the Going Native series is that the publishers encourage authors to include short anecdotal articles and quotes from other people. Travel guides, except the ones which are mind numbingly bland, by their very nature tend to reflect the voice of their author, in this case, authors, so the occasional snippet written by someone else adds a different voice and occasionally varying opinions to the main tone of the guide.

We were pleasantly surprised with the positive response to our request for anecdotes/short articles from various people, with very diverse interests and experience, around the island, a couple of whom we’d never met, spoken to, or even communicated with in cyberspace previously.

It’s a great addition to the book to be able to include interesting and very entertaining anecdotes from people like Colin Kirby (freelance writer and passionate CD Tenerife fan); Julie Hume (webmaster of etenerife); Gary Rosson (aka Cyberhiker - walking guide); Aguilas (Tripadvisor destination expert for Tenerife); Dr Leslie Brown (scientist and organiser of guided cycling tours on Tenerife); and Joe Cawley (travel writer and author of More Ketchup than Salsa).

Their contributions and insights into life on Tenerife are just another feature of what makes Going Native in Tenerife different from other travel guidebooks.

Going Native in Tenerife – The Guidebook for True Travellers.

2008-12-13T03:52:00.000-08:00

It’s been a lot of sweat, soul searching and heartache…actually it’s been none of these things. It’s been hard work but also immensely satisfying and now the latest and most honest guidebook about Tenerife, ‘Going Native in Tenerife’ is about to hit Amazon’s virtual shelves.

You might ask yourself does Tenerife need another guidebook? Clearly as I’ve co-authored this one, I’m going to say ‘of course’, but the truth is that having written about Tenerife’s 'off the beaten track' locations for Living Tenerife Magazine and then for Real Tenerife Island Drives, my wife, Andy and I discovered that some of the most interesting places on the island were overlooked by even the biggest name guide books. Most of which tended to devote too much information to the southern resorts that even people who only want to come and lie on a beach already know about. So when the publishers at bookshaker came along and commissioned us to put together the latest in their insightful Going Native series of travel guidebooks, we were only too happy to oblige.

So here it is, a guidebook for travellers who really want to get under the skin of Tenerife and discover the island that the Tinerfeños know, not just the small area that most visitors are familiar with.