Monday, 15 March 2010

Fat Bottomed Girls you make the Rockin’ World go Round – Shopping on Tenerife

Anyone planning on spending any amount of time on Tenerife should take a good long look at the Canarian girls’ rear ends. I’m sure for the men out there, I don’t really have to say anything else or explain why, but girls I’m deadly serious. A study of local derrieres is quite illuminating if you’re planning on picking up the latest fashions on Tenerife.

Canarian women come in all shapes and sizes like anywhere else, but there is a certain Latino shape which is common and which consists of curvaceous derrieres (Think J-LO in the movie Out of Sight), waists that seem positively anorexic and generous breasts.

Clothes sizes in shops like Stradivarius, Pull and Bear and even the more mature Punta Roma reflect this. So if you’re a typically shaped British woman, you might find that tops strain at the waist and have room for two more at the bust.

Some local fashion shops even have mannequins with the most ridiculously pert bottoms.

It also means that what you know of as a size 12 feels more like a 10 on Tenerife, so don’t get depressed if you have to move up to a size 14 – it’s not a result of over eating on holiday…well not only as a result of that.

However, the other thing to be aware of is that the fashion industry is pulling a bit of a fast one in the UK in an attempt at pulling the wool over your eyes…without it squeezing the breath out of you because it’s too tight.

UK sizes have also crept up in the last decade, so what was classed as extra large 10 years ago is now only large. It’s sad to say, but I’ve still got T-shirts and shirts bought in the UK about 6/7 years ago. Then they were large, but now when my mum sends me ‘large’ T-shirts, they’re nearly double the size of those from a few years ago and three times the size of the ones I buy on Tenerife.

This is clearly a bit of spin and a redefining of average sizes (which is quite disturbing in itself) meant to make people feel better because they don’t have to buy extra, extra large etc. But it does mean that when you hit the fashion shops on Tenerife and try on a pair of slim fitting jeans in your size, the chances are they haven’t a cat’s chance in hell of making it past your thighs.

It’s not necessarily a sign for a crash diet. Just buy two sizes bigger and cut out the label before any of your friend’s in the UK who don’t know about these cultural differences, and wouldn’t believe you anyway, sees it.